Dimming Sakura
by AylaxxAvaxx
Summary: The Soul Society,this is meant to be a place where souls come to rest in peace right?Well let's just say the balance has been disturbed again.Oh I'm Sakurai by the way,I'm captain of squad 14. Do you wanna play today? HistuKarin, implied ByakuyaxOC
1. an informal introduction

"How the hell should you know Byakuya?" I screamed at the taicho of squad six as he held me back from him by my forehead.  
"Because Sakurai... It's you. I know you too well." He smirked.  
I slumped at that statement. It was so true. He always got me to shut up by saying something along those lines.

Sorry, rewind. My name is Sakurai Mitsugayani, I'm Taicho of Juuyonbantai of the Soul Society.

That fool I was arguing with is Byakuya Kuchiki, he's Taicho of Ryuubantai. Something to describe him more accurately would be:  
My best friend and my closest enemy.

Me and Byakuya have known one another a very long time. I mean a _long _time. Over one hundred years. Due to my father being the lieutenant of squad 14 for a long time before becoming captain. We weren't exactly best of friends back then either. I was only a little girl when we first met. It was hard to believe how different I was then. So about One hundred and eleven years ago.

"_Ah Byakuya." My father approached the young boy as he trained, swinging his sword back and forth.  
"Mitsugayan-sama." The boy stopped swinging his sword, which was all it look like to me and turned to face my father. "You're visiting here today fukutaicho? I'm afraid my grandfather is not here today."  
"Actually young Kuchiki, it's you I came to see." The boy looked somewhat shocked at my father, the lieutenant of squad fourteen's words.  
"Me sir?" He asked, confusion showing in his voice, which I found somewhat amusing. "What for?"  
"You see Byakuya, I have some one with me who could use a good sparring partner, she may be a little younger than you, but I saw great potential and spirit power in her when I found her." He pulled me from behind him to his side. I saw Byakuya for the first time then. That was the first time we met.  
"Huh?" Byakuya seemed to scan me briefly. I watched him carefully also, neither one of us taking our eyes off of the other._

"What are you thinking about Sakurai?" Byakuya asked me as I leapt up onto a tree branch and sat down. He knew when I was in my own world, I hadn't heard him shouting me this time.  
"Huh?" I looked down at him. My smile was one most people saw regularly, but only Byakuya, Toshiro and Yachiru knew if I really meant it or not. I smiled now, forgetting that for a second. "Nothing."  
"You obviously are." He said bluntly, reluctantly, he leapt up beside me, though he refused to sit, he just leant against the trunk of the tree and watched me.  
"Well, I was just remembering. I'm not sure if you'd remember now." I smiled to myself, looking at the sky. "The first time you and I met, Bya-kun." I looked at him brushing my long wavy hair back behind my ear. "Do you remember?"  
Byakuya smiled at me. "Yes. How could I forget Saka-chan?"

"_Byakuya. This is my adopted daughter, Sakurai." My father told him. "She wanted to train to become a soul reaper but I don't have time, perhaps you could help her out. She has a zanpakuto."  
"She does?" Byakuya looked from my father to me in total shock. "I mean, is she already a soul reaper?"  
"With my orders, she is in squad two, under supervision by Shihoen-Taicho."  
"Hanorishi-san?" My voice was a lot younger than it is now. My long light hair was in pigtails at the side of my head, quite high up. I was wearing the Shinigami black kimono, but I had no shoes on. I had refused to wear them, even now I did. My pale skin had yet to change, my eyes were still reactant to my emotions, so it was easy to tell if I was angry.  
"It is alright Sakurai." He motioned for me to step forward, reluctantly, I took a step toward Byakuya, who was watching me carefully.  
"Nice to meet you Kuchiki-san." I bowed my head at Byakuya, who raised his eyebrows in alert.  
"You as well Sakurai-chan, please just call me Byakuya."He told me, I saw my father smile out of the corner of my eye as I raised my head.  
"Alright then. Hello, Byakuya." I smiled at him, my pigtails blowing in the wind as my eyes closed and I smiled sweetly at Byakuya Kuchiki._

"You had me totally fooled that day." Byakuya looked down at me, raising one eyebrow. "I thought you were pathetic back then, I wondered how on earth Mitsugayani-san could think some one like that could possibly have spiritual power as strong as he claimed it to be."  
"I know, if you hadn't come out of shock in time the second time we trained, I could have killed you. You should really be more careful." Sakurai told him sternly.  
"So you always tell me Saka-chan." He said emotionlessly.  
"Ever wonder why we stopped training together?" I laughed.

_"Have fun. I need to go somewhere." My father looked at the surprised look on my face. "Relax Sakurai, he's not going to kill you."  
"Promise." Byakuya smirked at me. "Wait, you're going, she's staying?"  
"That's right Byakuya." My foster father nodded. "Meet your new training partner, Sakurai."  
"Hanorishi?" I looked up at him nervously. "I enjoyed training with Urahara-san, and Yoruichi-sama."  
"Sakurai, Byakuya is to be the next head of the Kuchiki family. I am sire a child of one of the four great noble families should prove enough of a challenge for you. And would you stop calling me Hanorishi, I'm your father now."  
"Challenge? She's just some shy little kid." Byakuya objected instantaneously.  
"As are you Byakuya." My father laughed. "But not as shy."  
"Hey!" The boy protested.  
"Hanor-father..." I said his name again, softer this time, changing in mid-sentance.  
"Sakurai, Byakuya, have fun." My father smiled down at me. "Kuchiki-Taicho will take you to the Squad 2 barracks later on, he has to speak with Yoruichi there anyway. I'll see you later, Sakurai."  
"..." I didn't answer him for some time, I saw Byakuya looking at me and sighed. "You won't be at the manor with me and Tori-sama tonight again, will you?"  
"Don't be sad child, at least you don't still live in Rukongai as an orphan anymore." He put his hand on my shoulder gently. "I'll see you soon my daughter." With that he vanished.  
"You're from outside of the sereitei?" Byakuya asked me after a quite long period of silence between us.  
"Huh?" I looked at him cautiously. "Yes." My blue eyes switched to my feet. "Yes I am Kuchiki-san."  
"Byakuya." He corrected me, looking away. "You're very polite, and shy, for some one from Rukongai I mean."  
"I am?"  
"Indeed. From what I hear, most citizens of Rukongai are not very well mannered and are very cruel."  
"Then maybe you shouldn't go by what you hear." I scowled at him. "The people that I knew in Rukongai, I think think they were a lot kinder to me than people make out."  
"You think?"  
"Yes, I don't remember." I told him. My hand hovered over my zanpakuto.  
"So, you want to train?" Byakuya noticed my movement. He drew his sword.  
"Does your zanpakuto have a name? Well, do you know it?" I asked, looking at his sword. I had been told by my father that the first he noticed when I met him was my infactuation with his zanpakuto. I knew I had a love of weapons, I always had. But I also had an infactuation with something else as well. That infactuation is what gave my name.  
"Yes. It's Zenbonsakura." Byakuya told me, I couldn't help but smile.  
"Nice name." I remarked, drawing my own sword.  
"Do you know your swords name?"  
"Yes." I nodded once. "It's Nami. Namine actually, but she doesn't like that name."  
"Right." He nodded. He held his sword in a fighting stance in front of his body. "Ready, Mitsugayani-san?" He asked.  
"Sakurai." I corrected. I noticed him suppress a smile. "But yes, I am ready."  
Byakuya swung his sword at me, which I blocked effortlessly. We kept up this routine of him attacking and me blocking for around three hours, I could see he was getting frustrated. Three hours and not once had I even attempted to attack him. And not once had he been able to touch me. I was close to striking back, so it was a welcome relief when Captain Kuchiki showed up.  
"Grandfather." Byakuya stopped, turning to face the new arrival.  
"Byakuya, good afternoon." He nodded to his grandson, in greeting, then looked at me. "Ah, Sakurai."  
I bowed my head quickly. "Kuchiki-tacho!"  
"Don't worry about being formal toward me child." The Captain looked down at me. "Everytime I see you Sakurai, you always have that hair in front of your face, are you hiding something?"  
"Of course not, taicho." I shook my head, but noticed Byakuya's eyes widen briefly.  
"When I hit it from your face, you turned away." He pointed out.  
"Because you hit me, Kuchiki-san." I shrugged.  
His grandfather sniggered. "With your skills child, I find that unlikely." He obviously knew that I wouldn't tell him why my face was covered, it was what he said next that confirmed that fact. "Come along then, we should return you to Squad Two's barracks, Yoruichi will be wondering where you are."  
"She is well acquainted with Yoruichi?" Byakuya asked.  
"I am the fifthteen seat, Kuchiki-san." I told him bluntly. His grandfather noticed my bluntness and Byakuya's shock.  
"She is the fifteenth seat? Yoruichi cannot be serious!" He laughed.  
"Quiet Byakuya." Kuchiki-Taicho stopped Byakuya mid-laugh, he glanced at me briefly before facing his grandson again. "You have a lot of catching up to do, and to be told that at the cause of some one younger than you, it's a disgrace."  
Both my own and Byakuya's eyes widened.  
"Grandfather..." Byakuya's voice seemed saddened. If I noticed, I knew Kuchiki-Taicho did.  
"Kuchiki-Taicho, we should be leaving." I said abruptly, causing Byakuya to shoot me a surprised look. "You have business with Lady Yoruichi correct?"  
"Indeed." He turned to leave. "Goodbye Byakuya, come along Sakurai." With that he began to walk away.  
"Yes Taicho!" I called after him. I bowed my head to Byakuya. "Goodbye Byakuya-sama." Then I ran after Kuchiki-Taicho._

"You know. You calling me 'Byakuya-sama', surprised me." Byakuya told me with a slight smile.  
"Surprised you? Why?" That confused me a little.  
"Well, you were being pretty cold to me, then called me 'sama'. I have a reason for being surprised." He said sarcastically.  
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Well I-"  
"Kuchiki-Taicho!" A member of squad six came running over to the two of us. He bowed his head to me. "Mitsugayani-Taicho." He smiled at me as he raised his head and turned his head to speak to his captain. "Kuchiki-Taicho, the head captain has requested to speak with you immediately."  
"Of course. I will be there shortly."  
"Yes sir, I will return to my post now sir." The soul reaper nodded, running off.  
Byakuya turned back to me. "That was badly timed."  
"Meh, whatever. I'm used to it now." I shrugged.  
"I haven't spoken with you in a while, this was the first time I've properly spoken to you in weeks." He sighed.  
"I'm sure you'll survive, besides, this is me, I'll probably still be here when you get back, Byakuya." I winked at him.  
"Oh of course. Because you never disappear or run off on me Saka-chan." He rolled his eyes.  
"You're pushing your luck Kuchiki." I put my hands on hips and raised one eyebrow at him.  
"Just stay out of trouble Sakurai, alright?" He patted me on the head, I hated when he did that, just to prove he was older and taller than me, though the age thing, I didn't too much have an issue with. It was the height thing that bugged me.  
"You're still pushing it Kuchiki." I wacked his hand from off of my head.  
"Promise? This is an emergency meeting, something must be wrong. Promise me you'll be careful."  
I sighed heavily. "Fine. I don't see why you're worried. I'm stronger than you Flower Boy." I just met his glare for a couple of minutes. "Fine. I promise alright?"  
"Perfect." He patter my head again. "I'll see you later." Then he flash-stepped away.  
"You say that everytime, Kuya-chan." I sighed.


	2. The world behind me

**This chapter is written from Byakuya's POV, the chapters will take turns, there may be a couple from Toshiro's POV as well, but at the moment, it's mainly between Byakuya and Sakurai. But one of the chapters in the world of the living will definitely be from Toshiro's POV.**

I walked silently along, toward the hill where myself and Sakurai had been several hours previous. The meeting had lasted a while, and then I'd had to take care of something at the barracks. So I had a slight feeling that I'd let her down again. I knew that she felt that I did that all the time, but it was never purposely. I had a lot of work to do, and a lot of meetings to attend, though I wasn't too fond of the random ones that were called every so often.  
I thought she would have left already, but I was pretty surprised to see my best friend, lay on the grass in the shade of a tree, her Zanpakutō by her side. She was sleeping. She'd stayed here all that time. It was true that it had been months since they had held a real conversation, but had she really stayed out here waiting for me for this long? It seemed illogical; then again, it was Sakurai.  
I walked over, squatting beside her sleeping body. "Wake up lazy." I told her somewhat firmly. There was no response so I put one hand on her shoulder and spoke again. "Sakurai."  
"Ugh?" She groaned as her blue eyes fluttered open. I smiled at her as they fixed on me. "Huh? Byakuya? You actually came back?" She was slightly surprised. I was slightly offended.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" I raised an eyebrow at her.  
She yawned as she sat up. "It means you never keep your promises." I don't think that she meant for me to hear that, as it was only a mumble. "Never mind." She stood up, that's when I figured she hadn't fallen asleep, but fainted again. She lost her balance as she rose to her feet, nearly falling straight back down again. I caught her quickly with one arm.  
"Are you alright Sakurai?" I felt my worry creep its way into my usually emotionless voice.  
"I'm fine." Her voice was sharp, her answer quick. It was too quick, she was lying. But this woman had been my close friend for an extremely long time, so I knew better than to push the subject.  
"All right then." I shrugged looking away as she stood up straight and got her balance. "Where do you want to go, Sakurai?"  
"You're staying?" Again, the shock in her voice offended me slightly.  
"Yes I'm staying Sakurai." I said harshly.  
"All right, good lord." She rolled her eyes, as did I. She then sighed as she went into thought. "No clue."  
"How about that field you promised you'd take me to?"  
"The Sakura field? You remember that promise, that was years ago?" I saw the surprise in her eyes and couldn't help but smile.  
"For some unknown reason I can remember everything you have ever told me Saka-chan."I said it emotionlessly, but I could have sworn she blushed at that point, but the surprise was still there, until she smiled sweetly.  
"That's sweet." She smiled, which then faded as she looked at the sun. "Can't we just go somewhere high up?"  
"High up?" I was puzzled by her request.  
"Yeah. Somewhere where we can see everything, and feel the wind." She smiled and closed her eyes as the wind in this field blew through her long brown hair.  
"You can feel the wind anywhere."  
"But you feel it better in high places dumbass!" She laughed, grabbing my wrist and spinning me round as she ran in front of me. "Come on!" She flash-stepped away.  
_Somewhere high..._ I knew where she was going. But it was outside the sereitei. So I followed.

I stopped on the large hill in district 78, Inuzuri, why she loved to come to this place so much I'd never know, it was rough around here, not a safe district at all. I had a hood on as I walked over to where I could faintly sense her spiritual pressure.  
"You know Byakuya, you could take your hood off?" Sakurai used one hand to push up part of my hood so she could look at my eye, or one of them anyway. Then again, it was only one of her eyes that was ever visible.  
"And if I don't want to?" I raised one eyebrow, the one she could see.  
"Then I'll take it off myself." She pouted. I made no effort to move, so she pushed my hood down, and the sun hit my face. "Better. Now I can see my best friend."  
"What if some one sees me out here?" I asked coldly, I had a reputation to uphold.  
"Say you were sent to find me." She just shrugged it off, turning to the edge of the hill and holding her face to the sun.  
She had no such reputation. Though it is true that she was adopted into nobility, Sakurai has always been modest about it, always acting like she is not part of a noble family. Most would just say she's rude and incapable of feeling or she had no care for others. But I knew different. I could see I slight glint of sadness in her eyes that never left. It had not left in nearly seventy-four years. Since she had returned from the human world. Sakurai did show respect for people of nobility and for the Captain-Commander, but she tended not to show that in public most of the time. Though later she would apologise for the way she spoke to them. The only nobles she had not apologised to when speaking harshly toward them were the elders of my own clan. She was "voicing her opinion" as she put it, on their objection to my marrying Hisana. Sakurai had been a great help to both of us back then.  
"Do you actually want me to show it to you?" Sakurai's voice intruded my thoughts. It seemed slightly empty, but it always seemed that way. Like she was missing a part of her that made her voice sound sad and lost. Again since seventy-four years ago, had she been like that, and then at the death of her father, her voice became slightly more empty.  
"Show me what?"  
"The field, Baka." She looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes were impatient.  
"Of course. You promised." I told her.  
"About one hundred years ago." She muttered. "Come on then." She spun on her heel. She walked over to me and smiled. "I'll try and stay slow enough for you to keep up. Oh and put your hood back up if you want." With that she flash-stepped away.  
I followed her movement carefully as I followed her.

I had my hood up by the time we had reached the destination. Sakurai walked ahead of me, I could see petals at my feet every so often.  
"Sakurai-Chan?" I heard a voice say Sakurai's name. The voice was a woman's, it sounded relatively young and child-like. "Okaa-sama! Obaa-sama!" The voice rang out.  
"Mayu-chan? What is it?" This voice Byakuya heard seemed like that of an old woman. "My, my. To what do we owe this honour, Mitsugayani-sama?"  
"You know you can call me by my name Ishaki-senpai." Sakurai's voice was soft, kind, all tone of sadness had evaporated from her voice.  
"Which one?" I heard the old woman whisper. But she got no reply from Sakurai. "Sakurai-sama, who is that figure behind you wearing the hood?"  
"Oh!" Sakurai seemed to jump alert and the next thing I knew, her hand was around my wrist and she pulled me forward.  
"Nice way to treat nobility, _Saka-chan_." I muttered.  
"When have I _ever_ treated you like nobility, _Kuya-chan?_" She remarked back. "Take your hood off, or do you want me to do it again? You can't see the field like that." She spoke louder now.  
I did as she said. I took my hood down myself this time, revealing my face to those in front of me. I looked around in awe at the Sakura trees scattered everywhere. Then in the centre of the field of blossoms, I saw a well, it was older that anything else I had seen. It was covered in Sakura petals.

"_I never told you how I got my name did I? Well, figure out what my name means, and if I ever take you to that field one day, you might figure it out."_

I remembered Sakurai saying that when he asked about her name. It was something to do with that well.  
I heard the older woman take in her breath.  
"Kuchiki Byakuya?" Her voice shook as she said my name. She sounded slightly scared of me.  
"Relax Ishaki-senpai. He's not as scary as he looks, believe me." Sakurai laughed at the woman.  
"You seem to like him Sakurai-chan." The younger girl I had heard before spoke.  
"Well, I have known him since I first went to the sereitei." She laughed again, rubbing the back of her head.  
I turned around to look at the figures properly. I remembered then that the girl had called for her mother and grandmother. There were three figured stood before me. The youngest looking one only looked about six or seven human years old. Her hair was blonde and curly, framing her slightly tanned cheeks. Blue eyes lit up her face, those eyes were identical to that of the woman stood beside her. This woman looked somewhere in her twenties. Her hair was the same colour as the young girl's only hers was slightly longer, falling just past her shoulders, where as the girl's only reached her chin. She woman had quite a slim build, but she looked ill, as if her life force would not sustain much longer. Both of them were wearing kimonos and the woman had a sort of apron around her waist. Then the oldest woman spoke.  
"Kuchiki-sama." I noticed she addressed me directly. "This is my granddaughter, Mayu Ishaki. The youngest of our family, seven years old." The little girl smiled at me and bowed her head in respect. "This is my daughter, Akari Ishaki. She is the same age as Sakurai, the two were good friends when Sakurai lived in this district. I'm sure her health has not escaped your notice. My daughter is unwell, the illness is unclear, and we have no idea as to the outcome." Akari looked at me emptily, bowed her head then looked away. Then the older woman introduced herself. "My name is Akako Ishaki. I have lived here my entire life, I was born a spirit of this district. My entire life has been devoted to this field. And I was the one that gave this young lady her name." She motioned to Sakurai, Who smiled softly back at her.  
I nodded, taking the information in. So Mayu was Akari's daughter. Akari was ill, possibly dying. And Akako was the one that gave Sakurai her name. Why didn't Sakurai's mother give her a name? He'd always wondered this, but Sakurai never spoke of the past. That was clear whenever he'd asked why she hid her face.  
"Well Byakuya, what do you think?" Sakurai smiled at me, as Akari began to sweep up the sakura petals that had fallen with the broom in her hand. Mayu ran over to a swing in one of the trees and leapt up on it. Akako watched her family with a smile. The woman's face was old and withered. Her existence seemed to have been a long, enduring one.  
"I think that this is a very large field, and that the spectacle of all of these Sakura trees are amazing. Especially with the ground covered in their petals." I told her, she smiled at me warmly and looked around herself.  
"Yeah. I agree. I've always loved this place." She told me.  
"I remember when you and Akari used to play on that swing Sakurai." The old woman mused aloud, watching her grand-daughter. "Did Sakurai tell you about her name, Kuchiki-sama?"  
"Not in so many words." I admitted.  
"Well, Sakurai never was one for the past." The old woman sighed.  
"Tell him is you like." Sakurai shrugged, walking through the field, in and out of the trees until she got to the well. She leant against it, sitting down. Her blue eyes watching the wind carrying the petals.  
"Would you like to know? It's a simple story. Not long at all." The old lady turned her attention back to me.  
"I would, if you don't mind." I nodded to the woman, who smiled.  
"I don't mind." She said calmly. "Sakurai was very little when she first came here. Without her brother in fact. She told me she followed the smell. She was four and a half years old. And she fainted from hunger." My eyes widened. "I understand your shock. But I knew her father, it is not all too surprising when you know who he was. That information I cannot reveal, as the child herself doesn't remember.  
"As I was saying. She fainted from hunger, so I sat her by the well and brought her something to eat. I came back and she had woken up and was staring at the well. I asked what was so fascinating and she told me she liked the sound of the water. When I told her that there was no noise, she objected, saying she could hear it, she said it was a bit like the wind, she could hear whispers but not words. That surprised me, but my father had been a Shinigami before he died, and my husband at the time was. And my husband controlled a wind Zanpakutō, so I noticed the similarity between their circumstances. I too faint from hunger, but the child kept on fainting, as if she were wasting away to nothing." The woman sighed. "She kept on visiting, and when I asked her why, she just shrugged. I asked her why several times, just to get a shrug. She always used to sit on the well or leant against it, watching the trees. I decided to ask her again when she was sat down. She told me then, told me it was because the sakura were her favourite flower, and she saw them often along with a boy in her dreams. A teenage boy, and she said that as she got older, so did he. She said that he becomes a captain, with long black hair and brown eyes." My eyes widened. "I did not gasp earlier at my knowing who you were, but of my remembrance of her dreams. Sakura were her favourite flower, and she loved the sound of the water and the appearance of the well. Hence her name, Sakurai*****."  
"Her dreams, they occurred a lot?"  
"Every night she said, Kuchiki-sama." Akako nodded.  
"Mitsugayani-Taicho! Kuchiki-Taicho!" A female Shinigami, young in appearance with electric blue hair and the eyes to match, ran over to me.  
"Ukitano-san?" I looked down at her in surprise. I did not expect her to know where we were, let alone show up.  
"Taicho!" She nodded to me in respect then called to Sakurai. "Sakurai-Taicho!"  
"Ruana-san. What is it?" Sakurai slowly stood up and walked over.  
"The two of you are needed at the sereitei immediately!" She told us. "Karakura Town has been attacked by several high-level hollows. And the Sotaicho has called another meeting, which captains and lieutenants of all fourteen squads are to attend."  
"Fourteen?" Myself and Sakurai said the number in perfect sync and exchanged glances before she spoke.  
"Ruana, our squad? Myself and Kaori also?"  
"Yes Sakurai-taicho." Ruana nodded. "Please hurry!"  
"Of course." Sakurai nodded, I nodded also. She turned to face the old woman. "Ishaki-senpai, I'm terribly sorry."  
"Do not apologise to me. Go. Just do not be a stranger for five years like the last time dear. Visit however often you like, that goes for the both of you." Akako looked at me.  
"Of course." I nodded slowly to her.  
Sakurai's nod was quick. "Let's go. Goodbye Senpai." With that she and Ruana disappeared. I bowed my head to Akako before doing the same.

_"Be careful you two." Akako whispered to herself after their departure. "You will need each other now, more than ever." She looked to the sky. "Take care of that girl, Kuchiki Byakuya."_

**There we go! Second chapter done! Took a while because I had a blank period of time. This is a bit of a boring chapter. It just tells you how Sakurai got her name, and about where she spent her time. It was quarter past midnight when I finished this chapter, so bear with any mistakes please?**

**Heh heh heh. She wasn't hungry when she fainted at the start of the chapter, it was for another reason, that I shall leave you to debate. But it's connected to why she hides part of her face, with her hair.**

***Sakurai means "Cherry Blossom well". It is usually a surname, but I thought it fit ad so used it as a first name.**

Sotaicho- Captain-Commander


	3. Memory of Flames

**Just a warning, I now realise after reading the last chapter, Byakuya sounds a little OOC. There is a reason for that. This is from his viewpoint and his best friend's view point. So he may act a little different around her, and show more emotion than he would to the likes of Ichigo. Sorry.**

"Hurry up slow poke!" I called back to Byakuya as we flash-stepped into the sereitei.  
"Sakurai, though it pains me to admit it, I believe both you, and Utikano-san, are both faster than me when it comes to flash-step." He said coldly as we stopped on the roof of one of the buildings outlining the paths of the sereitei.  
"I learnt from the best." I shrugged, smirking.  
"You learnt from Yorui-" He cut himself of as we heard a man cry out nearby. The cry belonged to a voice I recognised.  
"Captain?" Ruana looked at me carefully.  
"Rikiro..." I whispered, realising that the voice belonged to the boy who had bee my 'student' for the past twenty years.  
"Sakurai?" Byakuya watched me cautiously.  
"Detour." I told the two simply, before running off of the building, and darting down the path to a large clearing, where a boy, with the appearance of a thirteen year old was lay on the floor choking. "Rikiro!" I ran over to him, kneeling beside him.  
"Sensei?" He choked out, blood coming out as he coughed.  
"Rikiro, it's me." I assured him. "You'll be fine. You'll see." I looked over my shoulder. "Ruana!" She was immediately at my side. "Take care of him."  
"Sensei, wait." Rikiro grabbed my wrist as I went to stand, sending both me and Ruana into shock. "The hollow. It's invisible. I can hear music, but not the hollow."  
"Music?" Ruana looked at him, confusion on her face.  
"Yes Senpai, a flute." HE nodded, beginning to cough again.  
"I'll find it. Just don't speak anymore. Ruana will take care of you." I stood up, leaving Rikiro with Ruana, I saw Byakuya at the side shaking his head. If I drew my sword here, I'd be asked about it later. But right now, my anger was rising, and once I got angry, I couldn't control it.  
"Calm down." He mouthed to me. I was taking deep breaths, closing my eyes and concentrating on a spiritual pressure other than the three around me, which was hard when my own was rising.  
Then a large surge of reitsu got my attention. My eyes snapped open as I drew my sword, it collided with the huge claw of a hollow as it blinked in and out of sight.  
I heard a sharp hiss as it drew back from me. I closed my eyes and concentrated for a moment. Then a felt a human hand around my neck as I was slammed into a wall.  
"Captain!" Ruana's voice cried out as I opened my eyes.  
"What the hell are you?" I growled at the hollow. Everything about it was visible now. It was wasn't as large as I thought. It was taller the Zaraki, and every other person that I knew that was taller than Kenpachi. But it's arms were out of proportion. One arm was huge and made near entirely of bone and hair, whilst the other, the other arm was human.  
I gripped my sword through the choking and stabbed the hollow through the chest. It howled in pain and staggered backwards, dropping me and allowing me to pull Nami from him.  
"Scatter." I heard Byakuya's emotionless voice behind me. I watched the petals appear around us, then I watched as the hollow dodged each one.  
_"I can hear music, not the hollow. A flute."  
_That was what Rikiro had told us. He was right. The hollow was silent. The only noise it had made was when I had stabbed it. I couldn't hear the hollow either, but I could hear the music. The sound of the flute.  
"Ugh!" My mind suddenly snapped into focus as I watched Byakuya get flung into a wall.  
"Byakuya!" My eyes flared red and I clutched my head. Who ever this was. They were controlling the hollow's movements and attacks. With every note was a different movement or attack. They obviously had some information on how we fought.  
I couldn't believe I was about to do this. An act of sheer hope that they had never been given information on my Shikai. I never released it. Or very rarely at least.  
"Revive the ocean," my Zanpakutō was a little different from Byakuya's, it increased my speed quite considerably, as well as my strength, but nowhere near my Bankai. "Nami." I said the sword's name quietly, near inaudibly. Byakuya and Ruana's eyes widened as the wind picked up pace dramatically.

**Ten minutes later...**

"So the two of you have finally arrived?" The Sotaicho narrowed his eyes at myself and Byakuya as we entered the room.  
"I was beginning to think the two of you were just gonna skip out on us." Kyoraku smirked at me, I returned the smirk, though, mine was more of a regular smile.  
"As did I, until I felt your sword released Sakurai." All the captains looked at me wide-eyed and the Captain-Commander spoke. "Care to explain?"  
"No." I said simply. "Now carry on with the meeting."  
Soifon opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced by Yamamoto.  
"Very well." He nodded, glancing up at me as Byakuya took his place in the line. I returned his glance as I leant against the wall.  
"We have received a new report from Rukia Kuchiki in the World of The Living." He began.  
"Didn't she already send in a report this morning, Sotaicho?" Soifon asked.  
"There has been a recent development. A large number of hollows in three separate areas of Karakura Town have been sighted. These hollows were at a higher level than expected. Higher than gillians, around the level of adjuchas. And at least one person from each group stated they saw something resembling an arrancar close by to the adjuchas. These hollows managed to overpower Sado, Ishida, Inoue, Kurosaki Karin and Urahara's assistants, as well as Kuchiki Rukia. Though they failed to overpower Yoruichi, Urahara and Kurosaki Ichigo, all three were quite pressured due to taking on large groups at once."  
"When was this, Sotaicho?" Unohana spoke up.  
"Around two hours ago." He confirmed. "Added to the information of one of the 'arrancars' seen. One appeared to have some sort of instrument. As even the ones who did not see the figure, could hear music."  
My head snapped up. "Flute music?" Byakuya looked over at me briefly.  
"Yes. Flute music was the music they heard, Sakurai." His eyes opened to look at the expression on my face. My expression was either cheerful or non-existent, in the way I showed no emotion. My expression now was confused. "What is it?"  
"One of Sakurai's squad members was attacked, along with a fair few other Shinigami. We encountered them on our way here, which is what took us so long, and is the reason for the release of Sakurai's Zanpakutō." Byakuya explained when I remained silent.  
"The Shinigami, he claimed he could hear a flute being played. And as myself and Byakuya attacked the hollow, I could hear the music as well." I told the Sotaicho, looking at Byakuya, who nodded.  
"So whoever it was, they were here as well." Yamamoto nodded at our explanation. "Hm?" I felt his eyes on me as mine snapped shut, I cringed slightly as a memory flashed before my eyes.

"_Onee-chan!" The screaming of a little boy registered in my head as I look around in panic. There were flames everywhere. I couldn't see for smoke.  
"Ototo!" I choked out, coughing through the inhaling of smoke.  
I tried to run to find him, but I couldn't move, my feet were trapped under a fallen plank of wood. I could hear the crackling of flames. But I could hear something else too.  
That's when I saw her. A girl in a white cloak, her hood fell down from the gusts of winds that blew the flames around. The cloak drenched her completely. She was only small, she looked about eleven in human years but I knew she could have been much older. Her eyes were golden, and there was part of a mask covering half her mouth. It was a hollow mask. Her skin was tanned and her hair straight, shoulder-length and black.  
"You're name, it's really -, isn't it?" I nodded as her soft voice spoke. "I thought so. Iko. That's my name, not that you'll need to remember it again..."  
She had a flute in her hand, and I watched helplessly as she brought it to her lips. As the music began to play, the flames blew around more harshly, ravaging the wooden building. I could hear my brother start to cry out in pain. I started to scream for him as my breath faulted even more. All I could hear was music as my eyes closed._

"Sakurai?" My mind snapped alert to Toshiro shaking my shoulders.  
"Toshiro..." I shook my head slowly to wake myself up. "Sorry. The arrancar, and the flute." I couldn't form my sentence.  
"Mitsugayani-Taicho." Yamamoto said my name and I composed myself.  
"The flute was played by an arrancar. Her name is Iko."  
"How do you know that?" Soifon asked, she really didn't like me. Her voice was kind of spiteful.  
"Because," I paused, rubbing the back of my head. "She's the arrancar that killed my little brother back in Rukongai..."  
There was silence for a long period of time, with all the captains in the room just staring at me.  
"You had a brother?" Ukitake asked, breaking the silence.  
"Yes." I nodded once. "I wasn't always an orphan in Rukongai, my mother, she died, when I was six."  
"And your father?" Unohana asked. I was getting slightly annoyed now. The last time anyone had bugged me about my life was when I first got here, and the only reason I mentioned it now was because it was to do with the problem at hand.  
"I don't know. He was a Shinigami, I don't remember him. This was over one hundred ad ten years ago remember? All I remember was that he stopped visiting two or three months before my mother died." Unohana nodded, seeing I was getting agitated.  
"So you can confirm that the music they heard was most likely from an arrancar?" Yamamoto asked me. I just nodded. "Very well. Hitsugaya-taicho." His attention turned to the white haired taicho stood in front of me.  
"Yes Sotaicho?" Toshiro spun around to face the Sotaicho.  
"You, along with your lietenant, and the lieutenant of squad six, due to all three of you being well aquanted with the world of the living, will travel there. You will aid Kurosaki and Kuchiki, along with all of the others. Understood?"  
"Yes, Sotaicho." He nodded once. "When do we need to leave?"  
"As soon as possible." The Sotaicho then spoke loudly. "Captains of squads 14 and 6, you both work well together, correct?"  
Myself and Byakuya exchanged awkward glances before I answered. "Yes, I suppose so."  
"Good. Then your squads will work together to gather information on these attacks, if entrance to the world of the living is needed, request it from me to be permitted." He nodded once. "This meeting has ended."

I made my way back to my own barracks. I sighed as I walked into the office, jumping slightly when I found Kaori sat on her desk, tossing a random object up and down in her hand.  
"Kaori." I said her name quietly as I entered the office fully and sat down at my desk.  
"Taicho." She looked up at me and leapt off the desk. She looked at my expression and walked over to my desk. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." I shook my head. "Just, current events stirring up unwanted memories."  
"Ah, gotcha. So, what is going on anyway?" Kaori asked, sitting on the sofa in the centre of the office.  
"Arrancars." I told her simply, writing a letter to Ukitake. "A bunch of hollows showed up in the world of the living. They were split up into three groups by three arrancars."  
"Right." She tilted her head back to look at me over the back of the sofa. "What's that got to do with us? They don't usually include us."  
"Our squad has to work with By-Kuchiki-Taicho's squad to gather information on the attacks."  
"But isn't that the stealth force's job?"  
"Meh," I shrugged. "What should I care? Just means we annoy Soifon more by taking her job." I smirked at Kaori. "And there is no _way_ I'm passing up that opportunity."


	4. Ichigo, you idiot

**Sorry, it's been a while since I updated this story. I had a load of stuff going on and I started my GCSE courses about two weeks ago(I'm in year 10) so its all fun and games.  
****Anyways, I have a high school bleach story I'm writing now, but I can't publish the beginning of that one until I've got to a certain point in this one. It uses the same characters (with the exception of Aizen and Tosen, who aren't in this one in the present), so it contains slight spoilers as to Shizu's past and parents amoungst other things.  
That story includes Ruana and Kaori a bit more than this one does at the moment. But don't worry, they _will_ come into it. Shivo is in that story as well. Whilst I'm writing this I've just realised only one person will no who Shivo is, so for all of you who don't, here:  
Sakurai Mitsugayani-juuyonbantai taicho (captain of the fourteenth division)  
Kaori Akahoshi-Juuyonbantai fukutaicho (Vice-Captain of the fourteenth Division)  
Ruana Ukitano-Fourth seat of Juuyonbantai  
Shivo Matiko-Third seat of the Juuyonbantai.  
~The first four members of this squad possess Bankai. Which indicates none of them are exactly young~  
As I'm not entirely sure where I'm bringing them all properly into it yet heres some info about Shivo and Ruana (you'll learn quick with Kaori, she's not as "gentle" as she is in this chapter).**

**Shivo- Shivo is strict, no-nonsense and hard-working. He hardly ever has any fun, and being surrounded by women is not one of his favourite things in the world (despite his taicho and fukutaicho). He is relatively kind hearted though, beneath the cold shell lies what Sakurai calls "A heart of gold", to which Kaori adds "but first you have to break down the Seki-seki wall with your reitsu"-referring to his exterior.  
Shivo holds a lot of respect for his superiors, and is very loyal to his taicho. He respects her greatly, seeing her as the strongest woman he knows(to which she refers to Yoruichi), but he does see her as a bit of a child sometimes, and always tries to keep her in line. With about as much success as Byakuya, a.k.a: not much.**

**Ruana- Ruana seems a shy, uncapable little girl. At first appearances she could deceive to be as gentle and kind-hearted as Yuzu Kurosaki. Yeah, she's not. Ruana is the fourth seat of this squad for a reason, she could have even been promoted to third or fukutaicho if she wanted to. She is kind most times, but she does have her moments when she can be as judgemental as Yamamoto.  
She is a strong and capable woman, with the appearance of a eighteen year old girl. She was formerly a member of squad eleven and has a somewhat close relationship with the Taicho, fukutaicho, and third and fifth seats.**

**Anyways! On with the story. You will find about more about those two later, especially Ruana (if you want to already, there is a oneshot up called "Are You Blind Ikkaku" or something, I can't remember ^^". But that is based around Ruana. It shows her shikai, and Bankai. As well as her "crush"). Ruana is attatched to Sakurai more so than Kaori or Shivo.  
This chapter is from Toshiro's POV.**

Three hollows. Each. Since we got here that's how many we'd had to defeat. It was getting annoying. We hadn't even seen Kurosaki yet, and Abarai was losing his temper.  
But now we had finally got a break. Must to our displeasure, we reported straight to Ichigo's home. We were all a little worn out by the time we got to the clinic their father ran. I really had no patience for the boy today.  
We walked up to the doors, visible to humans in our Gigais.  
I was in a black t-shirt, jeans and trainers. Matsumoto was wearing something _resembling_ a t-shirt, as well as a skirt and pink shoes. And Abarai was wearing A red t-shirt, jacket, jeans and trainers.  
"This place is really small." Matsumoto was moaning behind me, as usual. "Who would want to live above a clinic?"  
"A doctor." I asked her back impatiently, knocking on the door.  
After a few moments of banging and clattering inside, the door opened. The girl stood in the doorway was slightly shorter than me, though, in the past four years I had had a growth spurt, so if I hadn't, this girl would be taller than me.  
She had black hair that looked as if it would be long were it not tied up in a high ponytail by a turquoise ribbon. She was wearing denim shorts, and a black vest top with a yellow comic-like cat face in the centre. The top was a little baggy, but clung to her upper body quite reasonably.  
"Toshiro?" The girl saying my name brought my eyes back to meet her dark irises. "Had a good observation yet?" She put her hands on her hips as I scanned my memory for some recollection of this girl. We must of met, she knew my name.  
"Taicho, that's Karin Kurosaki. Ichigo's sister." Matsumoto whispered to me, felt my eyes widen at the realisation.  
"Karin?" I looked at her, my eyes returning to their usual emotionless state. Only two other soul reapers other than Matsumoto knew of my meeting with Karin four years ago. One of which was acting very weird at the moment. That was Sakurai, and the other was Momo. He had never told Kurosaki himself, he had never seen the need. He had no idea the two would see one another again.  
"Well done. You concentrated on my _face _enough to remember my name." Karin rolled her eyes, smirking at Rangiku and nodding to her slightly. "I take it you want my brother?" She looked back at me expectantly.  
I nodded after a moment, realising she was angry at me(though for what I didn't know). "Yes, if you don't mind."  
She shrugged, motioning for us to go inside. "Whatever, no skin off my back." We walked inside, hearing the soft _click_ of the door behind us. Karin walked past me after a moment, I saw her smile at Rangiku, but as she walked past me she glared at me. I'd ask her later why she was mad at me.  
"Toshiro!" Ichigo's voice echoed into my ear as we reached the sitting room where the family(including Rukia Kuchiki) were gathered.  
"Hitsugaya-taicho." I growled through my teeth as Renji and Rangiku walked up behind me.  
"Renji! Matsumoto-fukutaicho!" Rukia leapt to her feet at the sight of her childhood friend.  
"What are you all doing here?" Ichigo asked, but when I opened my mouth to answer, he carried on. "You should all be in the soul society right? I mean, there is no big scale thing going on here is there? Nothing that we can't-"  
"Kurosaki!" I snapped, getting his attention. "If you gave us chance to answer, we'll explain."  
"Alright. Jeez Toshiro, don't be so impatient." He grumbled.  
"I am not being impatient! You just asked a question, then carried on talking without giving us chance to answer!" I was losing my temper. "And it's Hitsugaya-Taicho!"  
"Alright! Jeez, stop being so rude!"  
"Me! The only rude one here is you, Kurosaki!" I could feel my reitsu spiking ferociously.  
"Me? You're in my house! Being disrespectful to the person whose house you are visiting is what's I'd call rude, Toshiro!" His reitsu wasn't doing too great either.  
"Since when did you give a damn about respect, Kurosaki? You never address any captain or noble member respectfully! Don't criticize me about showing respect when you should show some yourself!" I could feel our reitsu rising to danger point.  
Then a sharp and deafening sound silenced both of us. We both clung to our ears in pain as I turned to see where the sound had come from.  
Stood in the entrance to the room followed by two others, was the girl I half didn't want to see in the world of the living, taking her fingers from her mouth after she had whistled.  
"Rai-chan!" Matsumoto exclaimed, completely shocked to see her there.  
The taicho of the juuyonbantai placed her hands on her hips as Karin and her fukutaicho, Kaori Akahoshi, walked up beside her.  
"Does some one want to explain why we could hear the two of you arguing down the street?" The girl tapped her foot impatiently.  
"Sakurai?" I heard Isshin whisper behind me, sucking in a breath.  
"Who the hell are you?" Ichigo asked impatiently, obviously still riled from our argument.  
Sakurai glared at him. "Respect your superiors, kid." Her voice was impatient, it made me wonder what had put her in such a bad mood.  
"Superiors? You're a kid!" Ichigo argued.  
"I'm older than you, dumbass." Sakurai yawned, I knew she had plenty of experience of arguments. I had viewed the, somewhat deadly, spectacle, of one of her harsher arguments with Kuchiki-taicho. Something told me, this argument didn't bother her as much as the others did.  
"Who are you calling a dumbass?"  
"Kurosaki." I took a step toward him, my eyes warning him off. "If you get into this argument, it won't end well."  
"Ichigo." Akahoshi's harsh whisper to him tried to get his attention.  
He ignored us both.  
"Like this stuck up bitch could do anything to hurt me."  
"Wanna test that theory, Kurosaki?" Sakurai took a step forward. She was in her gigai, but I knew she didn't need her Zanpakutō to be able to seriously injure the boy. Rukia shook her head at Sakurai from Ichigo's side. Sakurai stood up straight, acknowledging Rukia. "I heard you fought my friend Byakuya a while back." She said calmly to Ichigo.  
"Your _friend?_ Forgive me if I don't believe you, but Byakuya doesn't seem the type to make friends. And so what if I did?" Her was pushing it, Sakurai's hands were behind her back, but I could see her fists were clenched.  
"Haven't you learnt yet? And you've been a Shinigami for _how_ long exactly?" She sighed, brushing a piece of hair back behind her left ear. Never had she ever brushed hair behind her right ear. Not the hair that purposely covered that side of her face anyway. "Don't judge a book by it's cover, _kid._"  
"Who the _hell _are you?" He seethed.  
"She wasn't kidding when she said he was friends with my brother, Ichigo." Rukia put her hand on his arm. "In fact, she and Nii-sama are best friends."  
"Sakurai Mitsugayani, juuyonbantai taicho." Rangiku finished.  
"You're joking right? This _kid_ is a taicho?" Ichigo' eyes widened in disbelief. I simply rolled my eyes at Sakurai's increasing spiritual pressure.  
"Look kid, do you want to keep all your limbs. I am a heck of a lot older than you. By the fact I'm only a little younger than Byakuya." Sakurai was losing her temper, she had now, in not even a blink, slammed Ichigo against the wall and was practically choking him.  
"Looks like I arrived just in time." A voice came from behind Kaori, we all turned to see Kisuke Urahara stood there smirking under his hat. "Let the poor kid go, Sakurai-chan."  
"Kisuke!" Sakurai let go of Ichigo and ran over to Urahara, hugging him. He laughed and hugged ehr back before she let go. Emotional things like hugs were not something Sakurai did often, so she must really have missed this man.  
"Haha!" He hugged her, letting go as she did. "It's been a long time."  
"Too long Kisuke! I've missed you!" She smiled ecstatically. "Yoruichi here?"  
"No. I left her and Ururu with Jinta and Tessai at the shop." She nodded as he told her.  
"Will some one please explain where there is a group of soul reapers in our lounge?" Karin asked sarcastically.  
"I like you!" Sakurai laughed. "You've got guts kid."  
"So you like my younger sister and not me?" Ichigo glared at her.  
"I got a better first impression off of your sister. As in she's a person who isn't arrogant and self-centred." She looked at Isshin. "Or totally mental."  
"Geez, thanks Sakurai." Isshin raised an eyebrow at her.  
"You never did like Kurosaki, I can see why you would like Karin though. She even gets along with Hitsugaya." Kisuke told her calmly.  
"If I comment on that, he'll hit me again." She shrugged, smiling sweetly at me, I scowled back.  
"Why might that be?"  
"Well..." She began in a sing-song voice. "Ow!" The taicho looked at her foot and there were bits of ice around it. She just laughed. "Tell you later Kisuke." She winked at him.  
"No you will not!" I snapped.  
"I'm your superior as well midget. Don't push it." She walked over to me, ruffling my hair playfully. I swatted her away.  
"You only use that against me when I'm pissed at you." I raised an eyebrow sarcastically.  
"I only use that against anyone when I either don't like them, or I want my own way." She said with a shrug.  
"And your excuse for being mean to me?" Ichigo folded his arms in wait.  
"The first one." He looked at me for a moment before she translated. "I don't like you." She shrugged, looking at Isshin as he spoke.  
"Don't take it personally." He told his son. "Sakurai only likes about ten people in the entire soul society. She hated me."  
"Like that's hard, dad." Karin muttered.  
"Haha!" Sakurai laughed at the girl's remark. "Your daughter is awesome Isshin! Most definitely compared to her baka of an older brother as well." She smirked, watching Ichigo clench his fists.  
"Calm down Ichigo." The other young girl, with short brown hair spoke finally. I'm guessing this was Yuzu. She was wearing a dress with an apron on over the top, her hair was clipped back out of her face and her voice was kind and gentle. She was Karin's twin? I found that hard to believe.  
"You're Yuzu right?" Kaori smiled at the girl.  
"Y-yes miss." Yuzu answered the juyonbantai fukutaicho nervously.  
"Hehe." Kaori laughed. "Well it's nice to meet you, and your sister. I've already had the, uh, pleasure, of meeting your brother."  
"Kaori? What are you doing here?" Ichigo narrowed his eyes.  
"She's my lieutenant." Sakurai answered him. She folded her arms and glanced at me, I nodded. "Down to business?" She asked Isshin.  
"If you wouldn't mind Captain." He nodded to her.  
"Well, I'm not here for the same reason as Tosh over there." She pointed her thumb at me. I scowled at her calling me 'Tosh'. "I only dropped by to say hello, and to meet the Shinigami everyone has been talking about for the past four years." She looked at Ichigo directly. "I'm disappointed."  
Before Ichigo could lose his temper I spoke up. "Why are you here, Mitsugayani-taicho?"  
"Oh. Just gathering information." She shrugged innocently.  
"Did they forget?" Kisuke asked her. "About the last time you were here?"  
Sakurai glanced at him briefly before she folded her arms and her gaze fell to the floor. "You know the old man, he never forgets." She told him emotionlessly.  
"Then why did he let you come here?"  
"Maybe because it was nearly one hundred years ago." She scowled at him, leaving me clueless to what she was talking about. "Kisuke, could Kaori and I stay with you for the time being?"  
"Of course, Rai-chan." Kisuke nodded with a goofy smile.  
"That alright Kaori?" She glanced over her shoulder at her fukutaicho. Kaori shrugged carelessly. Those two were pretty comfortable with one another. Then again, Sakurai was like that with a lot of people. "Great." She said 'great', but she didn't sound cheerful, in fact, her voice carried no emotion at all. "We should get going. I have to see a cat about an Arrancar." She looked at me and smiled. "Later, Toshiro." She glanced at Karin. "I'll se you tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow?" Karin looked briefly confused.  
"Yeah." She shrugged. "I was told to act the age I looked. So I'm starting at your school tomorrow." She sounded disappointed. I chuckled slightly when she pouted. "I don't do school." She winked at Karin, smirking.  
"The Shinigami academy?" Karin asked, she shrugged.  
"Never attended." She told her simply. "I'll see you tomorrow Karin, Yuzu." She waved then turned around. "Kisuke, you coming?"  
"Yep." Ichigo looked at the man. "I came because Yoruichi sent me to find Sakurai and Kaori." He shrugged. "Bye!" He ran out after Sakurai.  
"See you around, Kurosaki." Kaori smirked at Ichigo before following her taicho outside.  
"Well, that was brief." Renji raised an eyebrow.  
"I like her." Karin shrugged, slouching into a chair and shutting her eyes. I just smirked at her.  
"Hitsugaya-taicho, what are you doing here then?" Isshin asked me, Karin opened one eye.  
"We were sent to assist. Against the arrancar attacks." I told him. I looked at Rukia as I spoke the next bit. "There was a similar attack in the Soul Society. The hollow dodged Kuchiki-taicho's Shikai. But was defeated by Rai-chan, sorry, by Mitsugayani-taicho's Shikai." Rukia looked momentarily flustered.  
"Sakurai-sama released her Shikai?" Rukia sounded shocked. I nodded.  
"It dodged Senbonzakura?" Renji looked equally as shocked, I hadn't told him this, apparently, neither had his taicho.  
"Yes." I said impatiently. If I'd said it, I wasn't going to be lying was I?  
"I'm gonna head over to Orihime's, are you coming Taicho?" Matsumoto asked me.  
"I'll catch up." I said with a sigh. I was stopping with Inoue again. She was a nice enough woman, it was her cooking that was the problem. Or, what she called cooking anyway.  
"Hey, Ichigo." Renji turned to the man, who glared at him in response. "Mind if I sleep on your sofa?" He asked cheerfully.  
"No freaki-"  
"Of course you can Renji!" Yuzu smiled.  
"I'm leaving." I walked toward the door.  
"And, I'm going to play soccer." Karin said impatiently, walking straight past me and out of the door.  
"Does she do that a lot?" I looked over at Ichigo.  
"Yeah, she does." He shrugged. "She'll be back in about hour, maybe two."  
"Uh, right." I nodded slightly before waving my hand and leaving. I caught up with Karin easily. "Karin!" I called out her name and she looked over her shoulder whilst still walking.  
"Toshiro, what do you want?" Her voice was cold, emotionless.  
"To talk. Is that alright?" I walked up beside her as she shrugged.  
"I guess. But I'm heading to the soccer pitch." She told me.  
"Okay. How about we talk while playing soccer then?" I smirked when she raised an eyebrow and looked at me again.  
"You sure you're up to it, _Taicho?_ Not afraid you'll get beaten?" She smirked.  
"Like you could." I scoffed.  
"Race you." She laughed slightly and began to run. I followed her and made sure I didn't speed up too much until the last moment, and I beat her easily.  
"I win." I smirked smugly. She pushed me over.  
"Whatever." She pouted, standing by where I'd fallen. I swung my legs under her feet and knocked her down beside me. "Ow! That hurt!"  
"You think pushing me down onto the floor didn't?" I glared at her. She met my gaze for a few moments before she started to laugh. "What?"  
"N-Nothing." She coughed, stopping herself laughing.  
"Why were you angry at me?" I asked suddenly.  
"You didn't know who I was." She shrugged. "I don't look too different." She lay on the ground silently, staring at the darkening sky.  
I looked at her carefully, sitting up. She _had_ changed. She was very beautiful now, still the tomboy she was when they had met, but much more beautiful. 'More of a woman' as I had heard Kyoraku say.  
"What is it?" She looked at me cautiously, rolling onto her side.  
"Nothing. Come on." I stood up, she followed. I then motioned to the football. "We gonna play?"  
"Of course, Hitsugaya-taicho." Her use of my title took me back a bit. We were in the game instantly after that. I had no idea how long we were playing for.  
But I was having the time of my life with Karin.


	5. Past behind the pain

**One off kind of. Half of this chapter is in Karin's POV but then it changes to Sakurai's because I'm awkward like that.  
This chapter is kind of Karin and Sakurai getting to know each other, as they are pretty close later in the story. And I have a present for you all, something I wasn't going to do until much later. You get to find out why Sakurai's right half of her face is covered.**

_She's late. _I scowled as I waited at the gates of my school. After their football match last night, I had foolishly agreed to waiting for that female taicho this morning. "Screw this." I scowled, I began to turn around, and sighed when my name was called.  
"Kurosaki!" I turned round, the chibi taicho himself was walking toward me with the other girl at his side.  
"You're attending here too, Toshiro?" I was surprised; looking them both up and down, Toshiro was wearing the uniform as well. The uniform actually suited both of them and the girl now had her long hair tied back in a high ponytail, but a large section still covered her right eye.  
"Yes." HE sounded annoyed.  
"I take it you were forced?"  
"Yes." He scowled at the girl beside him.  
"Hey! It isn't my fault! Kisuke was the one that talked you into it. I was with Rangiku-chan!" She smiled innocently. Just from that smile, I could tell she was far from innocent with this matter.  
"We should get going." I sighed, as if on cue, the bell rang.  
"Right." Toshiro nodded, both he and the girl stayed beside me as we walked into the school.

"We need to wait out here." The girl stopped outside our classroom door.  
"Yeah, uh, hey." I stopped before spinning around and addressing the girl who raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah?"  
"I forgot your name, mind telling me again?"  
"Oh sure. Sakurai." She nodded to me.  
"Thanks." I nodded to her and Toshiro before walking into the classroom.  
I took in the room briskly. There were three spare seats. Two were near to mine. Right at the back, next to each other. I was on the row second from the back. My seat was next to the window beside Yuzu, in front of one of the empty ones. That should work out well.  
I took my seat and smiled at Yuzu. She smiled back and looked up as the teacher walked in, followed by Toshiro, and Sakurai was leant against the wall.  
"Don't tell me you're one of the lazy 'I don't do any work and fail all my classes' type." The teacher frowned at Sakurai.  
"I've never been to a school before. So 'failing my classes' has never really applied to me." She shrugged, the teacher looked surprised.  
"You've never been to a school." I could hear the teacher's shock. Toshiro answered this time when Sakurai looked at him for help.  
"My cousin was home schooled. She is extremely smart, so she should do fine." He explained, the teacher nodded simply.  
"Class!" She shouted, no one responded. "Class!" Still no response.  
"Could we be of help with that?" Toshiro asked.  
"I don't see how. They never shut up."  
"Sakurai." Toshiro looked over his shoulder at the girl who nodded. I knew what was coming and both myself and Yuzu put our fingers in our ears as she placed two of hers in her mouth and whistled.  
"Shut it!" She yelled after whistling. The class was silent after the whistle. The boys obviously staring at Sakurai considering she was hotter than just about every girl I knew other than maybe Matsumoto or Inoue, since Sakurai's breasts weren't nearly as big, not at all really. The girls were staring at Toshiro, which for some unknown reason, kind of ticked me off. But neither Sakurai or Toshiro were paying any attention. Sakurai had quite obviously noticed, as a slight smirk was on her face. Something told me that Sakurai wasn't exactly the quiet type, or the type who wasn't used to being drooled over. But she didn't seem to be taking much interest as now she was laughing as Toshiro noticed the countless girls staring at him and a tick mark appeared on his forehead.  
"Class this is Toshiro Hitsugaya." The teacher motioned to Toshiro, who nodded proudly. Sakurai rolled her eyes. "And Sakurai Mitsugayani."  
"Hey." Sakurai nodded vaguely, but not proudly. She didn't seem the type of person who though a lot of them self, or their status.  
"Well, you two can sit in whatever seat you like." I saw all of the girls sit up straight in hope Toshiro would sit by them, and the boys attempt to look cool. Sakurai noticed too. She smirked before whispering something in Toshiro's ear. I could see him roll his aquamarine eyes at her but I could tell he was trying not to smirk.  
Sakurai grabbed Toshiro's wrist and dragged him to the seats at the back behind me and Yuzu, I smirked at her when she winked at me whilst walking past us.  
She collapsed into the seat behind me, next to the window, as she let Toshiro go. He sat in the seat behind Yuzu.  
It was silent for majority of the lesson from then. I could see Sakurai's reflection in the window, her eyes were totally blank and looking out the window, as if she were literally somewhere else, which wouldn't surprise me with that girl.  
Toshiro was just sat there, staring at the board. Every so often his eyes would fall to his notebook where he had scribbled notes, but they didn't appear to be on the subject the teacher had given them.  
I couldn't help but jump slightly as Sakurai started. Her eyes snapped back to reality and her gaze snapped slightly to the left of her original line of sight. Then she turned her head to look at Toshiro who was watching her also. She nodded to him and he raised his hand to leave.  
"Yes Toshiro?" The teacher glanced up at him.  
"Hitsugaya." He corrected grudgingly. "May I please be excused, I, uh, feel ill?" It was unlike Toshiro to not be able to come up with an excuse.  
"Of course. Do you need some one to take you to the nurses office?"  
"No I'm fine." With that he got up and left the room, taking one last glance at Sakurai before closing the door.  
Her eyes fell back to the window.  
"Hey." I leant back on my chair, looking at Sakurai, keeping my voice a whisper. She just looked at me out of the corner of her eyes. She hadn't looked away from the window all the time we had been in the classroom. Yet she still managed to have a very detailed drawing of a shinigami in her notebook. It was a man, he wore the same white Haori as Toshiro. His hair was short messy hair and he looked like a reasonably powerful man.  
I looked from the picture to her. Her blue eyes were still on me. It wasn't intense. The numbness in them, the pain that I could see they masked, that was what was kind of scary about it.  
"Why didn't you go with him?" I asked quietly. She just shrugged.  
"Just a minor Menos, he can handle it on his own."  
"Okay then." I was kind of surprised when she had said 'just a minor menos'. Just how strong were she and Toshiro exactly? Then I moved on to the next question. "Is that an actual person?" I tapped the picture. She started before glancing down at the picture, turning to face me fully, her hands on her lap.  
She let out a reasonably heavy sigh. Her blue eyes momentarily flashed fully with the pain I had seen ever so slightly earlier. Then she stared at the picture as she answered.  
"I didn't know I'd drawn that." She paused. "His name's Hanorishi Mitsugayani."  
"Your father?" I asked.  
"Foster." She corrected. "He _was_ my foster father."  
_Foster father? Her name isn't actually Mitsugayani?_  
"What happened?"  
"..." She didn't answer for some time. When she did her voice was quiet and empty, much unlike the girl I had met yesterday. "He died. He was killed by another Shinigami. No one knows who." She explained, looking back out of the window.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't be. I'm used to it." She shrugged, resting her head on her hand again.  
"Used to what?"  
"All of it. People asking about them. My mother, my foster parents. My friends. Now my little brother."  
"What do you mean?" I looked at her surprised.  
"They all died. My mother died when I was only a few years old back in Rukongai. I think I was about five."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Stop saying that!" She snapped, causing a couple of people to look at us. Then something clicked.  
_She's just like me...  
_She didn't seem comfortable talking about herself it seemed, especially the past. It also seemed that one of her strongest dislikes was being given sympathy. Judging by the way she reacted. I didn't like sympathy either. After I was old enough to understand, people would give me sympathy over my mother dying when I was so young, but I hated it.  
I was lost in my thoughts too much to hear the bell ring for lunch. Yuzu's hand on my shoulder was what woke me up.  
"I'm going to find Jinta." She smiled down at me, her eyes looked slightly sad as they briefly glanced at Sakurai.  
"Alright. I'll see you later." She smiled at me before running off to find her boyfriend. I stood up and turned around, grabbing my bag. I noticed Sakurai made no movement to move.  
"I like the quiet." She said, as if reading my mind. "It will be too noisy out there."  
"Come with me." I said bluntly. "Ichigo showed me this place where me Yuzu and Jinta go at lunch. I'm not sure they'll be there today though." I told her, she looked up at me questioningly. "The roof. It's quiet up there. No one really goes up there."  
"Alright." She nodded, picking up her bag and standing up. I smiled ever so slightly at her and motioned for her to follow me.

_**Sakurai POV**_

It only took us a couple of minutes to reach the roof. When we got there Karin went over and sat on the ledge that held the fence up. She pulled out her lunch and put it on the floor beside her as she zipped her bag up. She glanced at me briefly as I sat down beside her. I just stared out at the view of Karakura.  
"Hey, Sakurai?" Karin's voice pulled my gaze away.  
"Yeah?" I smiled slightly at her.  
"How long have you and Toshiro known each other? I mean you seem close. Have you always been like that? It's really easy to believe you're cousins." She asked, seeming somewhat awkward.  
"I've known Toshiro since around when he first entered the academy to become a shinigami back in the soul society. We haven't always been close believe me." I chuckled at the memory of when we first met.  
"Really?"  
"Really. He hated me when we first met, he thought I was childish. I thought he was a spoilt brat." She smirked.  
"Why? How did you meet?"  
"I had to go into the academy. Every year a captain or lieutenant has to go and take a couple of classes, just to meet the students. I met Toshiro in his class, kind of. I met him just before class. Everywhere was empty and he was just sat there when I walked in. But we never really spoke."

"_This is surprising Mitsugayani-taicho, you're not late." My lieutenant, Riki Hakuro smirked in greeting as I reached the classroom.  
"Whatever Hakuro-san." I rolled my eyes. "It's Sakurai, you know that. Now run along and find your sister kiddo." Riki smiled at me before nodding and running off. He was a good kid. He was strong. A prodigy considering his age.  
__**It was a shame the fate that met him...**_**  
**_"Stupid kid." I smiled as I watched him run off, he was a lot like a little brother to me, I'd grown accustomed to taking care of him. I turned back and opened the door to the classroom. I walked down the steps past all the chairs and desks, and to the front, where the teacher was meant to stand. "I'm going to kill that old man for making me do this. This was meant to be Byakuya's class." I frowned, dropped my folded up haori on the stand before sitting on the edge of the stage with my legs crossed.I removed my sword from my back and held it in my hands as I closed my eyes.  
_Hey there Shi-chan! _My zanpakuto began to greet me but she was cut off when was forcibly pulled out of my inner word by some one talking to me.  
"Excuse me." I opened my eyes to see a young, short, white haired boy in the row at the back, shouting to me.  
"Yes?" I looked at him emotionlessly. I wasn't accustomed to being pulled out of a trance by some one other than my lieutenant and Byakuya, and I wasn't too pleased when they did it.  
_Relax Shi-chan. We can have a face-to-face conversation later. _Nami explained in my mind as I sighed aloud.  
_Whatever.  
_"We're meant to be having a taicho teach us today." He said coldly, I felt my hand twitch on my sword. "Kuchiki-taicho I believe it was."  
I stood up on the stage, my sword in my hand, my bare feet cold against the wood. I looked back at the boy over my shoulder as I turned around and walked over to the podium.  
"I'm afraid Byakuya is off on a mission right now." I informed the boy.  
He seemed surprised that I'd used the taicho's first name. His next sentence was making me close to losing it.  
"It's incorrect to address a noble, let alone a taicho by their first name. Secondly, why would they send a shinigami of lower class, not even a fukutaicho to take his place."  
"I-" I was cut off as the bell rang and the students piled into the room. I rolled my eyes. _Typical._ I groaned inwardly.  
_Calm down. _Nami told me.  
_Shut up I am calm. _I answered back as the last of the students took their seats.  
"Who are you? Kuchiki taicho is meant to be here today isn't he?" One girl asked, I cringed slightly, I knew Byakuya was kind of cute, but the infatuation in that girl's voice was nearly too much for me to handle. Especially considering he was my best friend whose wife-who was also one of my closest friends- had only died just a few years previous.  
"Byakuya-san won't be coming. He has a mission."  
"She's his replacement." The boy from earlier said coldly from the back. "Not even worthy of being a fukutaicho." He spat, the boy next to him looked at him in surprise.  
I sighed, rolling my eyes. Then I used shunpo to disappear from all the eyes of the class, who noticeably gasped. I reappeared behind the boy.  
"Toshiro Hitsugaya I believe?" His name had been lingering at the back of my head since I saw him. "Mind your tongue." I scowled before hitting him across the head with my zanpakuto sheath. I smiled gently at the boy beside him as Toshiro cringed in pain. "Good morning Kusaka."  
"Good morning Mitsugaya-taicho." He greeted me with a cheerful smile. I nodded to him before shunpoing back to the front.  
"How did you know my name?" Toshiro growled.  
"Momo told me, you baka. She was pretty excited about me meeting you. Don't see why though. You may be like a little brother to her, but you're unspeakably arrogant Hitsugaya." I scoffed.  
"I still don't know who you are." He mumbled. I didn't answer him. A girl at the front stood up and did so.  
"Hitsugaya, you idiot." The girl scolded him, she seemed to be the only one with enough nerve to do so. "Surely if you have so much respect for taicho-class shinigami, you should know who she is, not to mention she addressed Kuchiki-taicho by his first name!" The girl looked back at me and smiled. "My name is Mina Kihori. You are Sakurai Mitsugayani, taicho of the juuyonbantai and head of the Mitsugayani clan. Best friend of Kuchiki taicho and one of the strongest shinigami to date."  
"Jeez, you did your homework kid." I smiled slightly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Yeah, that's me." I glanced up at Toshiro. "If you don't believe me kid, I've got the Haori to prove it." I walked over the the podium and picked up the Haori, pulling it on, it went past my knees and was therefore much longer than my uniform itself. "This is my zanpakuto, Namine."  
"I believe you." He scoffed, looking away.  
"I have a feeling I may enjoy this teaching thing." I smirked._

I watched Karin as she laughed at the story. "Sounds like him doesn't it?"  
"Yeah, but we got used to one another especially when he became fukutaicho, then taicho." I explained, resting my head back against the fence. "You met Toshiro years ago didn't you?"  
"Yes, just before the war." Karin nodded. "I had no idea what he was until he saved me."  
"Interesting choice of words." I smirked.  
"What?"  
"You said 'what he was'. I just found it amusing that we aren't classed as people here. I always forget that."  
"Sakurai, do you know what's happening?" Karin asked suddenly.  
"What?" I looked at her in surprise.  
"Do you know what's going on at the moment. With all the hollows. Menos don't just show up out of nowhere and we've even had those adjucha things around. Ichi-nii said he swore he saw an arrancar the other day. Those were what the war was against. They nearly killed Rukia-nee."  
"He did?" I sighed. "Yeah they did. They weren't all bad. Ulquiorra, he just wanted to understand humans. Orihime knows that much." I looked at her sadly. "Sorry, Karin. I know about as much as you do about all this."  
Karin sighed, before standing up suddenly. She'd eaten her lunch while I'd been explaining how Toshiro and I met, so her empty lunchbox fell to the floor. "Fancy skipping the rest of the day?" She asked me.  
"Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow at her.  
"Yeah. Why not?"  
"Shouldn't you tell your sister?"  
"Probably. But she'd try and talk me out of it." Karin smirked, offering her hand to help me up. I accepted and she pulled me to my feet. "Besides, I bet you don't always tell Toshiro or that Byakuya guy what you're doing."  
"Fair point." I laughed, picking up my bag. She smiled and picked her bag and lunchbox up, shoving the box into the already packed bag.  
"Then let's go." She announced, grabbing my wrist and pulling me with her down the stairs.  
I let her pull me, thought I knew that if I wanted to I could have broken her grip easily. She pulled me all the way down the stairs before taking a right and pulling my down the corridor and out of the single door right at the end.  
Okay all this pulling was getting _really_ annoying. I opened my mouth to tell her so but at that point she crouched and hissed at me

"Get down and keep quiet. Teachers room just across there." I followed her instructions and crouched. Without pulling me she led me along the wall, under a window and to the school gate.

"Think you can get out?" Karin asked. I nodded.

"Can you jump?" I asked back.  
_**"**_Not that high." Was her reply. I rolled my eyes.

"Get on." I said, motioning to my back. Karin looked at me like I was completely crazy.

"Trust me. I'll get us over." I said. Karin gave me a dubious look but climbed on anyway. I jumped, clearing the fence perfectly, before letting Karin slide off my back.

"So where are we going?" I asked, leaning against the gate.  
"Hmm, not sure." She shrugged. "How the hell did you jump over that so easily?"  
"I'm a shinigami." I replied absently. "Come on. The bell is about to go." I pushed off the gate and began to walk away from the school, Karin at my side. "You'll have to direct me. I haven't been to the world of the living in over 60 years."  
"Got it." She smiled. "Come on, we can go to the ice cream shop, then head down to the river?"  
"Sure." I nodded once and she took of running. We stopped at the ice cream shop, before heading down to the river.

"Well, that was an interesting walk." Karin smirked, collapsing onto the grass, eating the flake from her ice cream.  
"You do this often?" I asked her, sitting down slowly.  
"Not particularly. But I have a feeling that you won't be here long, so, I wanted to get to know the _only_ person Toshiro doesn't seem to yell at." She shrugged, finishing off the chocolate and moving onto the ice cream itself.  
"I wouldn't be to sure about that." I laughed, lying down on the grass. I hadn't gotten an ice cream, too cold, not my thing.  
"So he yells at you too huh?" She laughed, looking down at me. She had been laughing but when she looked at me her expression changed, she looked shocked.  
"Karin?" I looked at her questioningly, sitting up.  
"Y-your eye." She motioned to the right side of my face, and my breath caught in my throat.  
"Yeah, so anyway." I tried quite obviously to get away form the subject. "Toshiro yells at everyone, even people who are higher up than him."  
"Sakurai." Karin said my name firmly, which surprised me. "You can tell me. I'll understand if you don't want to though."  
"It's just... Karin, not even Toshiro and Byakuya know about that." I motioned to my eye.  
"Well, I've already seen part of it. So you may as well fess up." She brushed my hair behind my ear, fully revealing my eye, and she gasped in shock.  
"If it helps, I've got more internal damage than external." I smiled sadly.  
"It's, burnt."  
"Yeah..." I shrugged.  
All around my eye had been burnt; the skin was crimson around it. The eye itself would appear somewhat unaffected, if it weren't for the fact it was red. The skin appeared flaky, the burn around it still scolding my skin. There wasn't a day that goes by that I didn't suffer from that fire which occurred so long ago. My lungs had gotten the worst of it. Despite the injury which managed to contrast so boldly to my pale skin, the injury that I'd managed to keep hidden for over a hundred years, that wasn't the worst.  
There wasn't a day. Never since that fire had I gone a day without collapsing or passing out. Without my breath being caught in my throat. Without my lungs near enough giving up on the large effort that breathing took.  
There wasn't a second of any day that I wasn't in pain.  
Yet until now, there was only one person who knew. Heck, some one had to know the reason why I kept fainting or had sudden lapse of heartbeat or breath.  
Unohana-taicho.  
She was the only taicho that I had ever shown the slightest respect for. Even if my position is considered higher than hers, I still look up to her in every perspective. Ever since I first arrived in the Sereitei, she was the one that I idolised. Not to mention she was the only person I'd ever listened to since I was a little girl.  
She had tried to convince me to let her get rid of the burn. To let her heal my lungs. But I hadn't let her. I wanted to suffer. I _needed_ to suffer.  
Because I was the one who should have died that day...  
"Sakurai?" Karin's voice woke me from my thoughts. "Are you alright?"  
I nodded quickly.  
"I'll be fine." I assured her.  
"You said not even Byakuya or Toshiro know, right?" I nodded. "Do they know your real name?" That startled me.  
"What?"

"You said that that Hanorishi guy was your foster father, which means Mitsugayani isn't your real name."  
_**This kid's sharp. Reminds me of the midget.*  
**__Yeah I guess, but he hasn't worked that out.  
_"I don't know my surname. If I have one I mean. My mother never had one, and my father, I don't know _anything_ about the old man."  
"I know you don't like sympathy, but I feel bad for you." She explained, leaning back and placing her hands on the grass to keep her upright. "I lost my mum when I was really young too. But it's not like I can say I know how it feels. Because I still have Ichi-nii and Yuzu, and goat-chin. Where as you, you lost everyone."  
"Not everyone. I still have Byakuya."  
"You're pretty close to him aren't you? He's Rukia's older brother, she told me about him."  
"I am _pretty_ close to him, yeah." I smiled. "He's my closest friend. Not to mention without him, I actually _wouldn't _have anybody."  
"You care about him." She nodded.  
"As much as you care about Toshiro." I smirked at her slightly, pulling my hair back over my face.  
"W-What?"  
"You obviously care about him. You're the one that keeps bringing him up after all." I told her with a smile.  
"I-I, uh, it's getting dark..." She changed the subject quickly, I laughed. Then looked at the sky.  
"Wow, have we really been out here that long?" I thought aloud. "Come on, we should get back, Toshiro and Ichigo will be wondering where you are."  
"Right. I guess so." She nodded, standing up. I followed suit and we made our way back to the Kurosaki household.

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" Karin shouted as she walked into the house, I stood in the doorway silently.  
"Karin!" Yuzu came running out of the living room and practically leapt on her sister.  
"Yu, what's wrong?" Karin asked, I could hear the worry in her voice.  
"We didn't know where you were." Yuzu sniffed, but it wasn't her that answered. It was Toshiro. "With all these hollows around at the moment, you really shouldn't wander off without telling people. Ichigo is out looking for you right now. For kami sake Karin, you-" I stopped him before he lost his temper.  
"Toshiro! It was my fault. Don't yell at her." I lied. Karin spun around and looked at me in shock.  
_"What are you doing?"_ She mouthed. I just looked away from her.  
_**Yeah, what **_**are**_** you doing Shi-chan?**_  
_This.  
_"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Toshiro sighed. He walked past Karin and over to me. "Outside. I don't want to tear the house down."  
"I doubt you'd have the strength." I muttered. He scowled and I spun around and walked outside, not giving Karin or Yuzu a second glance. But I heard Karin tell Yuzu that I had lied, and that it was Karin's fault. Toshiro didn't hear her. He just shut the door.  
"Have you any idea how much trouble you caused?" He hissed. "Sakurai, you've been a taicho for over 60 years. It really is about time you acted with some responsibility. Ichigo has been going out of his mind worrying about Karin."  
"You're hurt." I pointed out quietly, my eyes on the scar on his chest, imprinted into his gigai.  
"Yes. And Kurosaki thought his little sister was." He growled at me, as in, actually growled. I stayed silent then. He'd never shouted at me before. "You're so ignorant to the world around you! You think of nothing but yourself! Nothing else matters to you, as long as you have fun, everyone else can go die in a hole!"  
_That stung Shiro, that really stung...  
_"You're so immature it's unbelievable to think you are taicho of _that_ division. To think you are of any if difficult in itself! You rarely act like one!"  
_This actually hurts..._  
_**Because he means it, mistress...**_  
"You come first to everyone. It's no wonder everyone you've ever been close to is dead! It's a miracle Kuchiki-taicho is still alive!"  
_..._  
_**Shi-chan...**_  
"I see..." I said quietly. Toshiro stopped, seeming to realise what he had just said. "You've expressed your opinion and I'm grateful to know what you actually think of me. But maybe during that, you should have admitted that _you_ were concerned for Karin, not just Kurosaki." I bowed my head. "Goodnight Hitsugaya-taicho." That being the last thing I said, I walked away toward Kisuke's shop. Toshiro just staring after me.

***The bold, italic writing throughout the story is Sakurai's zanpakuto, Nami, speaking to her.  
**

**The last part of the chapter was actually harder for me to write than I thought it would be. When I started writing this, I actually had no idea I was going to make Toshiro yell at Sakurai that harshly. I was sat there going "I don't want to make him say this..." at the last thing he said. But I made him, so I slowly stabbed myself(mentally of course).  
**

**Well, now you know why Sakurai hides her face. I actually wasn't planning that until much later. But I changed my mind, due to there being a big event in the next chapter that causes even more friction between Toshiro and Sakurai. That alone will be murdering me, and probably one of my friends as I'm writing.**

**It get worse and a bit more angsty as I get further into it. It will cheer up though...I hope...**

**As usual, Read & Review! x  
**


	6. Shatter to pieces

**Hi! Me again, this is a record for me :) I'm trying to finish the next chapter as well. So I should have it up in the next few days. Not on christmas day though xD  
Okay, so about this chapter. I took my friends advice on the events of this chapter, so you _need_ to pay attention. I _lot_ happens in this chapter. Let's just say this chapter and the next are going to be...eventful.  
Oh, and I apologise for Toshiro in the last chapter, being a total d***. But yeah, he isn't really in this chapter. Sakurai is kind of horrible to Kisuke in this chapter.  
Hey, after I've published the next chapter, I may be able to publish my high school story using the characters from this one since everything is pretty much revealed in this chapter****. But I'm also contemplating doing a Hitsukarin one shot for christmas/new year.  
Well, pay attention ;) and happy reading! :D  
I don't own bleach, if I did the war would have ended very differently :P**

_That hurt._  
_**Who are you kidding, it stills hurts you, Shi-chan.**_Nami told me, her voice wasn't sarcastic like usual, it was sad.  
I didn't respond and just carried on toward the shop. I had broken into a run as soon as I was out of Toshiro's view. But now my breath was catching in my throat. I could feel my legs growing uneasy beneath me.  
I did nothing to stop myself falling. I just let my legs give way. I let myself fall to the ground. My back landed against the wall and I just sat there. Oblivious to the rain that was beginning to fall.  
_**Stop beating yourself up. Toshiro will get over it.**_  
I ignored her.  
"You're going to catch a cold." A voice told me. I looked up to see Kisuke walking over to me. "You should know better than walking through dark alleys alone at night."  
"Well, I doubt anyone would have walked with me." I coughed, laughing despite myself.  
"Come on, let's get you back." He helped me to my feet, and noticing that I couldn't walk, he lifted me onto his back. "Last time I carried you like this you were an upset little girl who had just had an argument with Byakuya Kuchiki." He chuckled.  
"Thank you." I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder.  
"What for?"  
"Everything. Thank you, Kisuke."  
"No problem kiddo. That's what I'm here for." He assured me. "You need me I'm there." His words sounded sincere as we reached the shop. He used my foot to knock on the door and I laughed lightly as the door opened.  
"What happened?" Yoruichi asked, looking at me.  
"That's what I intend to find out." Kisuke said firmly, walking past her. He carried me to the room I had been staying in and set me down, before standing in front of me.  
"Thanks."  
"Well?" He looked at me.  
"Well what?" I asked absently, coughing again.  
"What happened?" He sat down in front of me.  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
"Then show me." He tapped the side of his head and I sighed. I moved so I was kneeling on the floor and placed two fingers on each side of his head. I let the 'argument' I had just had with Toshiro run from my mind into his. Allowing him to view everything, to hear everything Toshiro had said.  
"I see." He said when I had finished. I removed my hands and moved back onto my futon. "Don't let it get to you Sakurai." He smiled reassuringly to me. I began to cough repeatedly, a slight amount of blood coming out. "Get some rest. It doesn't help your breathing when you're upset." He told me. I nodded as he left the room.  
I sighed and settled down on the futon, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**Kisuke POV**

"Kisuke." I woke up to some one whispering my name sharply. I opened my eyes to nothing, it was still extremely dark. The middle of the night.  
"What is it? It's the middle of the night." I yawned, my eyes finally adjusting and registering Yoruichi stood over me.  
"Listen." I did as she said when she fell silent. Then I heard screams and rasping breaths coming from the room next to my own. The room Sakurai was in.  
I stood up reasonably quickly and walked, if you class taking one step and being in the next room walking, to her room.  
I opened the door to see the girl thrashing in her sleep, rasping breaths and screams came from her mouth in between coughs. I rested my hand on her forehead, but quickly withdrew as her temperature was rocketing.  
"Sakurai." I repeated her name as I knelt by her bedside, I called Yoruichi who helped me restrain her before she injured herself.  
"Kisuke." Yoruichi motioned to Sakurai's hands, I moved my own hands from her wrists so I could see her hands. She already had injured herself. There was blood where she had dug her nails into her palms when makings fists.  
"Sakurai, wake up." I told her calmly. My voice got louder as I called her name. Then I said the name I haven't said in years. "Shizu, wake up." I said, somewhat desperately.  
Sakurai screamed the loudest and most painful scream yet as her eyes snapped open. She was shaking so much it was scary. Her breath was uneven and she looked terrified as her blue eyes fell on me. I jumped as she hugged me, her shaking body was boiling. She coughed repeatedly, struggling to breathe. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and held her gently. Obviously not something I was used to.  
"I'll be right back." Yoruichi told me, she disappeared from the room.  
"Are you alright?" I asked Sakurai, worry etched into my voice. Sakurai coughed, nodding. I should have realised there was more to that cough.  
"Here." Yoruichi came into the room holding medicine. "This should help you get some sleep, and help you feel better." Sakurai nodded and took the medicine from Yoruichi, withdrawing away from me. I let her go, trying not to think of the last time I had done that, let her go I mean. I watched as Sakurai downed the entire bottle of medicine and lay back down, her eyelids drooping. I sat, cross legged, at the side of her bed, vowing to stay here until she awoke again. Yoruichi sat next to me.  
"Your going to have to tell her." She said, stroking a piece of Sakurai's hair out of her face, but not uncovering her burn.  
"Why? She's happy. She doesn't need to know." I replied, not taking my eye's from Sakurai, worried that if I looked away something bad would happen to her.  
"She does need to know Kisuke. Unohana told me that she keeps refusing treatment and it's killing her. She needs to know. Before…before her stubbornness ends her. Before it turns out you never got to know her really." Yoruichi countered. Sakurai was refusing treatment? How could she be so stupid!  
"Fine. She does need to be told. But how the hell can I tell her? I mean it's not something that just comes up in a conversation. 'Oh Hi. Sakurai how are you?' 'I'm good Kisuke. And you?' 'I'm fine. Oh by the way. I'm your dad.'" I muttered, sarcastically. I could just see her face if I told her that.  
"Oh and by the way I know your real name is Shizu. I'm the one that gave you that name." I carried on. Yoruichi placed a hand on my arm.  
"It certainly won't be easy. But it is essential. She needs to know this." Yoruichi looked away. "She's not happy Kisuke, no matter what you think. She's _killing_ herself. She has no one but Byakuya left. No one deserves to suffer the amount of pain she does every day." She stood up fully. "You _need_ to tell her. She _needs_ to know. Before she becomes too much like you and being stubborn wins." She smiled at me sadly before taking one last look at Sakurai before leaving the room.  
"How am I meant to tell you, Shi?" I sighed, stroking her forehead. "You hate your father. I know you do. I don't want you to hate me."

"_As far as I'm concerned, by father is the reason my mother is dead. You really have no idea how much I hated Soul Reapers as a child."_

My mind cast back to her telling me that. And she was right. I could probably have stopped her mother's death.  
"I have always been here, listening to you when you told me what you thought of your father. You have no idea how badly it hurt." I stood up, walking over to the door. "Please, Zu-chan, don't hate me..." I whispered before closing the door behind me and leaving.

**Sakurai POV**

_My head hurts._

_**Considering last night's events mistress, I'm not surprised... **_Nami seemed unusually, well, she sounded in shock.  
"Nami?" I said aloud.  
_**How can you forget something like that? **_She snapped. _**Try and remember. What did Kisuke-sama say last night? What did Yoruichi say last night?  
**__I don'- _I cut myself off, the memory of just before I fell asleep drifted back to me and I moved quickly. Dressing in casual clothes and running to the shop.  
I clutched my chest in pain when I reached it, I would have fallen again if it weren't for some one catching me.  
"Sakurai, are you alright?" Yoruichi's voice asked me. I nodded as she helped me to the steps to sit down.  
"Thank you." I nodded to her. She smiled and fetched a glass of water and handed it to me. When she returned I drank the water slowly, just taking a sip.  
"Were you looking for something?" She asked. "Oh, yes, it's afternoon by the way. So you never showed at school." She smirked slightly at that.  
"What? I slept that long?"  
"It was a miracle you slept at all." The former Taicho sighed, turning to face me. "Do you feel better?"  
"Considerably, thank you Yoruichi-san." I nodded. "Where's Kisuke?" My mind suddenly snapped back to the reason I had ran, and I sounded angry.  
"He's just had to go somewhere. Why? What's wrong?"  
"I heard, I heard what the two of you were saying last night. After you'd given me the medicine, when you thought I was asleep."  
Her eyes widened. "Sakurai, please. Don't be angry with him. He had his reasons."  
"Really?" I snapped as I stood up. I felt my spiritual pressure flare and did nothing to stop it. "What reasons could possibly justify keeping that from me? For all this time!"  
"He didn't want you dead..." Yoruichi looked away.  
"What?" I froze at her words, but before she had chance to answer the door opened.  
"Onee-sama!" I spun around to the sound of Rukia's voice at the door. "Karin called, she said you weren't at school. We heard what Toshiro said to you. I was concerned."  
"You shouldn't have been." I assured her coldly.  
"Why did you not go in?" Rukia asked. I stiffened and looked to Yoruichi for help.  
"She wasn't herself this morning, and she had a bad night last night. I thought it best not to wake her. We contacted the school." She explained.  
Rukia nodded.  
"Are you feeling better now, Saka-nee?" She asked me. I nodded with a soft smile. Rukia worried about me, she'd always been like that. Then again, I worried about her just as much. Only I have always shown it compared to her brother. "Good, I'm glad." She smiled. "I should get going. Rescue Hinamori from Rangiku." She laughed before running off.  
"She seems happy here." I said absently.  
"She's with Ichigo." Yoruichi smiled. "Those two are very close. Good friends."  
"And I'm sure Renji is all the more thrilled by that fact." I laughed, my former Taicho joined in.  
"I've missed you Sakurai. It seems like forever since I last saw you. You weren't in the war either." Yoruichi sighed absently as I sat down beside her again.  
"Yeah. It has been a while. The war itself was four years ago. The aftermath has lasted that long." I looked at her briefly. "Now then, what were you saying?"  
"About?"  
"Kisuke." I scowled. "My father." I corrected.  
"Oh, that." She sighed. "It's really not my place to say anything Sakurai. I know little on the matter. He didn't tell me much. But I do know one thing."  
"What?" I asked her, staring at the floor as she stood up and walked in front of me. She placed a finger on my chin and lifted my face up to look at her.  
"You meant everything to him." She smiled at me. "You, your little brother and your mother."  
"Obviously everything wasn't enough..." I sighed, looking away. Yoruichi looked at me sadly.  
"Give him chance Sakurai, just hear him out." She told me as she left the room.  
"Everything okay Taicho?" Kaori's voice startled me. I looked over my shoulder to see her closing the door to the rooms.  
"Kaori. Everything is fine. I thought you were meeting Ichigo today?" I asked her.  
"Just on my way now." She smiled cruelly. "Let his torture begin right?" She laughed.  
"I've taught you well." I smirked.  
"See you later Sakurai-san." She smiled at me, waving as she left the shop.  
"Everyone seems so happy here." I sighed sadly. _Everyone but me._  
_**Should we pay an old friend a visit? I hear he's around here.  
**__I know who you are talking about, and the answer is no. He probably wants me dead. I left without saying goodbye.  
__**You know as well as I do, he'd probably be happy to see you.  
**__He's probably changed Nami. In over seventy years, he's bound to have changed.  
__**Don't you think he'd want an explanation as to why you left, Shi-chan?  
**_I looked at the clock. Half past three. I'd been out a long time. _No.  
__**But Sakurai... **_Nami moaned.  
_No, Namine. _I growled. She didn't respond, as she hated that name.  
"Tessai!" I called. The tall man wandered into the shop.  
"Sakurai, what is it?"  
"Do you mind if I cook today? I need to take my mind off things." I smiled politely. He nodded.  
"I don't see why not. I had no idea you could cook."  
"Yeah, I do cook, just not often. It just helps distract me when there's something on my mind."  
"Ah. Care to talk about it?"  
"No thank you. I've been talking to Yoruichi-sama about it." I smiled, he nodded politely at walked away.  
_**So what do you plan on doing now then?  
**__Having a face to face conversation. _I smirked. I went to my room and dispatched my gigai, before heading to the underground training room.  
I sat down cross=legged on a boulder a fair way away from the entrance. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be taken to my inner world.  
"Hey there, Sakurai." Nami greeted me. The vast beach spread out in front of me, the water flowing gently around the edge. As I looked further out to the sea, I could see clouds. I could see lightening and hear thunder. The water over that way seemed to be becoming fierce.  
I turned back to look at the girl. She was in her physical form. She did like being in her spirit form, especially since it was in a spirit world, but she liked her physical appearance, and she was able to choose which appearance she wished for.  
Right now she was merely the appearance of a young girl. A young girl with horns, fangs, and a smaller version of a dragon's tail. She had wings too, but she kept them tucked in. Her hair was a silvery blue colour, her clothes were a short blue and grey dress that reached high above her knees, her sleeves on the other hand were long and covered her hands, which were behind her head as she relaxed in the lounger she was on.  
"Nami." I greeted her. "What's going on?" I asked, motioning to the stormy water.  
"You're troubled; I would have thought that obvious." She yawned. "Not to mention tired."  
"I've been asleep for hours." I protested.  
"I find it amusing how you being tired is the first thing you protest." She laughed slightly. Her laugh was light and girlish.  
"I have no doubt that I am troubled. You yourself are troubled, without my influence." I looked at her carefully, she had yet to open her eyes or make any movement other than speech. "What is troubling you, Nami?"  
"Hyorinmaru." She said dryly. "Or, more his master."  
"Why?"  
"I'm not sure. I just don't believe that Hitsugaya is really aware of the things at stake around him."  
"What are those things?"  
"Obvious things. His cousin, Momo. His fukutaicho, Rangiku-chan. Karin. You." She finished abruptly with the last two, finally opening her eyes and looking at me, her silver eyes cast upon me with wisdom that would not show if she were truly what she appeared.  
"Why are we at stake?"  
"That is for you to realise." She sighed, closing her eyes again. "I cannot tell you."  
"As helpful as ever I see." I rolled my eyes. "Can you tell me how long he's going to stay mad at me?"  
"About last night? He isn't anymore." Nami admitted. "Karin told him the truth."  
"Why would she do that?"  
"Why would you take the blame?" She opened her eyes again, only this time, she sat up and spun around so her legs were off the side of the chair.  
"Because she's my friend, and I know how much she cares about Toshiro. It would have hurt her for him to yell at her."  
"Yes. So now you're saying it didn't hurt you?" Nami tilted her head.  
"I never said that." I shrugged, looking back out to the sea.  
"You're being called." Nami looked away from me when I turned back to her. "Tessai. You always lose track of time in here. You're in here longer than you think. You still haven't got the grasp of that in over one hundered years."  
"Yeah, yeah. See you later, Nami." I faded out of my inner world and my eyes fluttered open.  
"Ah, I apologise for waking you, but it is five o'clock." Tessai told me as I stood up, well, jumped down off the boulder. "Would you still like to cook?"  
"Yeah." I nodded once. I skipped past him cheerfully.  
"You seem to feel better."  
"Yeah, much better thank you." I lied. It was easier to fake happiness than it was to have to explain why you're unhappy.  
"Good, I'm glad." He nodded once, watching me leave the training ground.

I walked down the corridor to make my way to the kitchen when I felt Kisuke's spiritual pressure in the shop. I stiffened. I would have gone to speak to him, were it not for the sheer fact that I could sense Toshiro in there as well.  
I entered the kitchen and pulled vegetables out of one of the cupboards and began to chop up at carrot. I liked cooking non-japanese meals, it got boring in the soul society since that is all you ate. So I don't eat much there.  
I could hear Toshiro and Kisuke's conversation.  
_**It's impolite to listen in on conversations.  
**__Shut up._ I growled in my mind.  
"Is Sakurai here?" I heard Toshiro ask.  
"If she was, do you think she'd wish to speak to you?" Kisuke's reply was empty, much unlike his usual cheerful attitude. Maybe Yoruichi was right, I should give him a chance. He was obviously pissed with Toshiro.  
"Urahara. Is she or not?" The young Taicho practically growled.  
"Yes."  
"Where is she?"  
"The kitchen I believe." He answered him absently.  
"Why is she in there?"  
"She is doing what most people do in a kitchen. I believe she is cooking." He answered sarcastically. I surpressed a chuckle.  
"Whatever." I felt Toshiro's reitsu move, as he took a few steps to reach the door. But he stopped. Kisuke was in front of him.  
"Hitsugaya, if you _ever_ speak to her like that again. It won't just be Yoruichi or Byakuya who make your life, _afterlife_, hell. Understood?"  
"Yes. Though I see no reason why she is your concern." Toshiro spat before walking past him. I was thinking about what Kisuke had said to Toshiro, and how he hadn't responded to the boy's comment when I heard the door open.  
"Ah." The knife slipped slightly as I was pulled from my thoughts, it sliced the palm of my hand. "Damn." I sighed.  
"That was foolish." Toshiro's voice came from behind me.  
"I can think of more foolish things both you and I have done, Hitsugaya-taicho." I answered back blankly, not turning to him, just walking over to the sink and running the water of the tap on my hand.  
"Such as?"  
"I fell in love with some one I shouldn't have." I admitted. "And you, having feelings for a human is the equivalent of mine. Only yours is against the law."  
I heard Toshiro momentarily stop breathing behind me. "Are you so certain of that fact, Mitsugayani?"  
"Ha." I smirked, finally turning to face him. I ruffled his hair with my non-bloody hand before walking over and wrapping my hand in bandages. "I am certain. Because I know you too well, Toshiro Hitsugaya."  
"Whatever." He scowled.  
"Did you come here for something?" I asked him. Trying to wrap my hand.  
"Yes, I wanted to-" We were cut short as we both sensed enourmous amounts of spiritual pressure eminating from the direction of the Kurosaki household.  
"Go. Those aren't Menos." I ordered him, he looked at me in surprise. "That's an order from your superior officer Hitsugaya! Go!"  
He nodded before disappearing. I turned back to the food and finished chopping the carrots, I actually _couldn't _leave that half finished. I finished and shouted for Tessai. "Tessai, you'll have to finish, I have to go somewhere!" I called. Tessai was capable of sensing spiritual pressure, he'd know where I was headed.  
Some one else did too.  
I disgarded my Gigai and headed for the exit to the shop, but my arm was grabbed to prevent me leaving.  
"Don't." I looked to my side to see Kisuke looking at me firmly. "You can't go there Shizu." Obviously Yoruichi had told him I knew. He never would have called me that name otherwise.  
"You are in no position to tell me what to do, or call me by that name." I hissed.  
"You'll get yourself killed."  
"All the more reason for me to go. To help my friends." I shrugged. "You have no right to tell me what I can and can't do."  
"I do have a right. You know it. I'm your-"  
"Father? Only when it suits you." I yanked my arm from his grasp. "You don't deserve to have me call you that. You don't deserve to even call yourself that!" I practically growled at him. My spiritual pressure was close to exploding. "You tell me this _now_. Claiming I'll get hurt if I go. Did you ever even care? Did you ever love any of us? Me, mother, Takiro? Did any of us mean anything to you?"  
Kisuke looked like he'd gone into shock. He didn't have his fan or his hat, which made it possible to see his face, and it looked more in pain with every word I said.  
But I carried on.  
"You say I'll get hurt. Did you think I haven't been hurting? All these years I've been happy? Satisfied? You think I was content with watching my mother and little brother _die_ right in front of me? Knowing since my mother died that my father _knew _what was going on? You think that I didn't hurt, thinking that I wasn't worth anything to my father? That all those years I spent, on my _own_ were nothing? I have suffered more pain than you could ever imagine! And it hurts even more, knowing things might have been different if you were there! I go through torture every day, just to stay _breathing_!"  
"That's your own fault." He finally spoke up.  
"Excuse me?"  
"You're the one who is refusing to be treated! It could save your life, yet you refuse! Why would you do that?"  
"Because I deserve it!" I screamed at him. He was sent into silence. "Because I deserve it. All of it. The pain. Everything. I deserve to die, to suffer."  
"Why would you think that?"  
"For the reasons I've stated!" I yelled, I could feel myself holding back tears. I had never cried since Hanorishi found me, I wasn't going to start now. "I just stood there and watched my mother get killed! I did nothing while my brother chocked in a fire! I did nothing to stop you leaving! Did nothing to save you or Shinji or anyone when you were meant to be killed! I did _nothing_! When I could have done something! I could have tried to help! Then I wouldn't have to be like this. To go through this, this torture! But I let them die! I let you leave. I let Hiyori, shinji and the others be sentenced to execution. I. Did. Nothing."  
"How can you believe any of that is your fault you stupid girl?" He sighed, I finally looked at him. "Shizu, I was _made _to leave you. I had to. There was no way I could stop it. Everything happened back then because I was too afraid to stand up to the sotaicho. I was too stubborn to ask Yoruichi for help. I am to blame Shi. Your mother wouldn't be dead, your brother wouldn't be because your mother was still alive. I begged for them not to kill you. Not to kill your brother. The sotaicho agreed, but when I asked for your mother to be spared, he would always refuse." He gripped my shoulders tightly. "Shizu, you have to listen to me. I don't want you to hate me, that is the second-to-last thing in the world that I would _ever _want." I looked at him in confusion.  
"And the first?"  
"You not to exist at all." He sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if you died. I've been strongly connected to the soul society for years, Rukongai at least. You visited there more than you stayed in the Sereitei. You visited Kukaku Shiba. She would tell me when you'd visit, so I knew you were safe. Shizu, please. Don't refuse to be treated like this. You're ill and you're dying. Get treatment. And don't go out there." He pleaded to me.  
"I have to." I looked to the door. "Why is it so important I don't?" that's when I felt it. Two spiritual pressures, they plummeted to nothing.  
"That's why." Kisuke looked away, seeing the pain on my face.  
"No." I whispered. "Momo, Karin." I looked up at him. "You idiot! You could have let me go! I could have stopped them dying!" My mind suddenly sparked on something. "Shit. Toshiro..." With that I left, leaving Kisuke alone in the shop.

I reached the Kurosaki household in the shortest time possible. I didn't need to open the door, it had been torn down. The walls of the house were smashed and disorientated. Just as I was when I stammered into the house. My eyes saw Rangiku stood next to a distraught Toshiro and Ichigo. My eyes glanced downward to see one of my closest friends, and the girl I had only just met yet become so close to, lying in pools of blood on the floor.  
I staggered backward. Not wanting to believe what I was seeing. Karin and Momo, they can't be dead.  
_**Well they are.  
**__Shut up Namine! _I screamed in my head.  
Rangiku saw me as I clutched hard at the broken doorframe, my hands beginning to bleed. She glanced down at her Taicho before looking back at me again. Her eyes looked scared.  
Toshiro sad sensed me, known I was there.  
"You said you were right behind me." He didn't even look at me. "Where were you? Why weren't you here? This is your fault Sakurai."  
"Toshiro, I-"  
"Don't! It _is_ Sakurai! They were looking for you!" I froze.  
_What?_

**Hope you enjoyed! Everything is falling together, muh ha ha! Just kidding, well, you now know who Sakurai's father is. Just a warning, Toshiro is a total prick in the next chapter again, but Sakurai(Shizu) kind of snaps this time when he says she doesn't know how it feels to lose something because she has nothing to lose :s**

**Well, as usual, Read &Review :) Merry christmas if I don't finish the oneshot or next chapter before then :)**


	7. I have nothing left

**This chapter starts with Hitsugaya unable to keep his mouth shut once again, and Shizu(Sakurai) snaps... Enjoy.**

I let go of the doorframe as Hitsugaya stood up straight.  
"What do you mean? Why would they be looking for me?" I questioned him.  
"I don't know. I don't care." The Taicho growled. "All that I care about is that the two of them are dead, and it's because of you!"  
"Taicho..." Rangiku started.  
"Quiet!" He snapped at her, making her jump. Then he turned back to me. "You proved my point Sakurai, it's a good job that I never got around to taking it back. Everyone around you dies. You're a walking disaster!" I let him criticize me, as I did the night before. My face stayed emotionless, that's what led him to his next criticism. "Not to mention you're so unaffected by everything! Two people, two of your _friends_ have just been killed at you're just stood there, with not a hint of sadness or anything even resembling emotion on your face! Nothing matters to you! Do you even possess emotions?"  
"Hitsugaya, did you fail to comprehend when you became a shinigami, that it is pretty much necessary to discard emotion, as if you don't your missions may become jeopardised. You aren't _allowed_ to feel Hitsugaya, or you will suffer the most pain imaginable. People die in the soul society every day. It would cause a lot of pain if everyone let their feelings out."  
"You're not bottling up your feelings, you have none!" He backfired at me. "You don't know that pain, of losing someone close to you, because you have nothing to lose! I-"  
Toshiro was cut off as I slammed him into the wall.  
"You ignorant brat." I hissed, surprising everyone in the room. "You were there in that meeting Hitsugaya."  
"I was. It just makes my point even more stable of you having nothing to lose."  
"Because I have nothing left!" I screamed. Everyone in the room froze, even Toshiro. "Don't you dare tell me that I don't know what it's like to lose some one important. I have. I've lost someone who is important to me many times. I have lost my mother, my brother, my foster parents, my friends!" I paused. "You lost Momo, that's it. You have no right to judge."  
"I have every right!"  
"No you do not! Now be silent Hitsugaya Toshiro! I am fed up of you addressing me as if you are _my_ superior!" I let him fall to the ground with a thump. I hadn't comprehended just how high up the wall I had been holding him. "Momo never _chose_ to leave, Toshiro. I've had both types of loss. Before you criticize me, learn more about me. It hurts to have people forcibly taken from you. But it hurts even more to know that they chose to leave. To think for your entire life, that you weren't good enough for them to stay."  
"Your father..." Rangiku whispered.  
"Learn your place Histugaya Taicho." I growled as I began to walk away. "And learn when to keep your mouth shut." With that being my final sentence on the matter I shunpo'd away.

I ended up by the river, where I had spent time with Karin the previous day. I began to cough somewhat harshly, I shouldn't have shouted. I can't come that close to losing my temper.  
I sat down on the grass, staring at the water. My hand touched the jewel on the chain around my neck. It was a bright blue sapphire with a metal dragon weaved around it. To represent my zanpakuto. It had been a birthday present a long time ago. From Byakuya.  
I don't think I'd ever missed him as much as I do right now. I needed something that had always been there, just to stop my head spinning.  
"You know, you shouldn't sit that close to the water." A sarcastic voice reached me. I smiled slightly and continued to stare at the water.  
"Karin." I tore my eyes away from the water as she sat beside me. "What are you doing here?"  
"Could ask you the same thing." She smirked. "I'm hiding from my brother and Toshiro. You?"  
"Hiding from Toshiro and Kisuke." I laughed emptily. "Why are you hiding from them?"  
"I was worried about you." She admitted with a shrug. "I have to go to the soul society now, right?" I nodded. "And I'll forget…" She sighed, looking down.  
"Not necessarily." She looked at me, surprised. "I have an idea. It's time to go see Kisuke. I need to talk to him about a lot of things."  
Karin looked at me.  
"What if Toshiro is there?"  
"He won't be. Trust me. He'll think I'm there, and I'm the _last_ person he wants to see right now." I assured her.  
"He yelled again?"  
"We both did." I shrugged. "Let's just say he knows a lot less than he thinks he does." I stood up and motioned for her to follow. She did.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I have nothing to lose." I whispered. "I mean I have everything to lose." I spoke up slightly, confusing Karin with my words. "Come on." I smirked, running toward Kisuke's shop. She laughed and ran after me.

"Kisuke?" I knocked on the door. No answer. I repeated it several times and still got no answer.  
"He's not here?" Karin asked. I sighed.  
"No, he's being over-dramatic." I rolled my eyes. "Karin, don't ever mention this again."  
"What?"  
"What I'm about to shout." I told her before turning back around and banging on the door. "Dad! Open up!" I swear I just felt Karin's spiritual pressure freak out, but regardless, it worked. Kisuke came to the door.  
"You acknowledged the fact then?" He smirked.  
"I didn't have much of a choice. We needed to come in." I said coldly.  
"We?" He looked behind me. "Oh! Karin-chan! I am sorry by the way." His face was suddenly serious and he looked back at me. "I shouldn't have stopped you, it wasn't my place."  
"You're right, it wasn't." I looked away. "But I over-reacted. Forgive me." I bowed my head to him and as I rose I saw the surprise on Kisuke's face.  
"I wasn't angry at you." It was my turn to be surprised. "I didn't blame you for being angry. In fact, I think I probably deserve it. I let you down. I should be the one apologising."  
"Forget it." I shrugged. "I need your help. Is it possible for me to take Karin through the senkaimon with me."  
"Tough one." He looked at Karin behind me and she saluted him sarcastically. "Well, Ichigo and his friends got through when they went to save Rukia. Then Karin has soul reaper abilities and she'll be with a taicho, so the chances are likely she should be able to get through."  
"Good." I nodded. "Could you open a senkaimon for us then?"  
"You're leaving now?"  
"Yes. I have no need to wait around here. I was sent to see if I could figure out what these Arrancars want. I got my answer." My hands curled into fists at my side. "Kaori can stay here for a while. She deserves a break. Plus, she's enjoying seeing Kurosaki."  
"My brother?"  
"Yes." I nodded.  
"Very well ladies. Meet me downstairs in the training room in ten." With that Kisuke waved and walked away toward the training room.  
"What about Toshiro?" Karin asked suddenly.  
"What about him?" I didn't look at Karin I just walked to my room and rummaged around in one of the draws.  
"Don't you think you should tell him you're leaving?"  
"No. We were sent here for different missions. It's none of his concern when I leave." I explained.  
"I see." Karin sighed.  
"Hey, did you know that Renji, Rangiku and your brother have been put forward for the three vacant taicho positions?"  
"They have? Really? Who suggested them for that?"  
"Byakuya put Renji's name forward. Ichigo was already pretty much decided. I suggested Rangiku. She achieved bankai last year, so she's pretty much the only other option." I smirked at her, handing her a photograph. It was of me and Rangiku, about thirty years ago in the world of the living. Rangiku's hair was much shorter than it was now. But neither of us looked that different. "Hitsugaya would never get rid of her without having to. Plus, she's my best friend, so I thought I made a pretty good judgement. She's not the best for paperwork, but then again, neither is Kyoraku-taicho. She's strong. That's good enough."  
"Cool."  
"Only thing is that now they need to come up with two new fukutaicho. I think they already have someone in mind for the tenth." I looked at her. "So, just how much has Urahara taught you?" Karin stiffened.  
"You knew all this time? That I was a shinigami?"  
"Of course." I admitted. "It's why I was all the more taken aback by your death. Everyone in the soul society knows anyway, Karin,"  
"Well, I still need a lot of training. Urahara has made me a lot stronger, but apparently I'm still not getting it."  
"Well, once we get to the soul society, I'll train you if you want." I offered, her face lit up.  
"Seriously? You wouldn't be too busy?"  
"Not at all. Trust me, my squad do _nothing_ majority of the time. Besides," I waved my hand, motioning for her to follow me to the training room. "It gives me someone else to bug instead of Kuchiki-taicho and Rangiku."  
"Oh great." Both of us laughed. "Sakurai?"  
"Hm?"  
"How come, if I am a shinigami, I'm not in my shinigmai form now?"  
"Because you've died. Not just left your body. Don't worry." I closed my eyes, my mind drifting to my zanpakuto.  
_**Her zanpakuto awaits in the soul society. The office for the tenth.  
**__How convenient.  
_"We just need to pay a visit to Hitsugaya's office when we get there."  
"Right." She just nodded as we read the place in the training room where Kisuke waited.  
"Hello there." He waved at us, the senkaimon behind him. "After you Karin-chan."  
she looked at me and I motioned for her to go. She nodded and stepped through the doors.  
"I'm not angry at you anymore." I told my father, stopping just before the senkaimon. "But you could have let me know sooner."  
"Promise me something." He said suddenly, I jumped.  
"What is it?"  
"Stop refusing treatment, Shi, you're scaring the hell out of me!"  
"Sorry." I stepped toward him and bit my lip before giving him a brief hug. "Goodbye for now, dad." I nodded to him; he smiled in response as I stepped through the senkaimon.

"This is the soul society?" Karin asked as we stepped out into the gardens of my family's manor.  
"This is my house." I shrugged, smirking at the surprise on her face.  
"Nice garden." She blinked. I laughed.  
"Yeah. Come on." I grabbed Karin's wrist and grinned mischeviously. "Hold on." With that I used shunpo to get to the ichibantai barracks.  
"N-Never do that again…" she panted. I smiled evilly.  
"Aww, couldn't handle it Karin-chan?"  
"Shut it." She snapped.  
"Mitsugayani, is that you?" A voice from behind us asked.  
"Ah, hey Chojiro. Is sotaicho here?"  
"Afraid not, Sakurai-taicho." The fukutaicho shook his head. "He is in a meeting at the moment, I'm sure you can enter."  
"Ah right. Okay, see you later." I waved at him before grabbing Karin again and pulling her toward the meeting room.  
"Hello, Mitsugayani-chan." The shinigami at the door greeted me.  
"Mornin', Mind if I go in?"  
"Not at all Mitsugayani-taicho."  
"Great!" I looked at Karin. "Wait right here!" I said before opening the door and deciding to have a little fun, I used shunpo, meaning I left the group of taicho staring at the open door before I appeared behind Byakuya, putting my arm round his shoulders(admittedly tiptoeing) and shouted. "Evenin' all!"  
I swear I gave them all a minor heart attack.  
"Don't ever do that again." Byakuya muttered. I laughed.  
"Gomenesai. Didn't really expect to make you all jump that much." I shrugged. I took my arm from round Byakuya and lowered my bare feet fully onto the ground.  
"It's morning, Rai-chan." Shunsui pointed out.  
"No shit. That's what I said." I smiled at him, winking. He just chuckled.  
"Sakurai, is Hitsugaya with you?" Yamamoto asked as I leant against the door, one of which was still open, and I heard Karin suck in a breath.  
"No. He and I had…a small disagreement." I thought of eventually.  
"Small? He looked about ready to kill you." Karin said from behind me.  
"Forgot you were there." I smiled, walking over and pulling her into the room. "Meh, you and the girl who is basically an older sister to him died because of me. I'd say that's fair reason to hate me, wouldn't you?"  
"You say that like it is a regurlar occurrence."  
"The longer you spend with me, the more you'll realise the truth behind that statement." I pointed to the many taicho behind me. "Just ask them. Speaking of which." I spun around to face them all and took a deep breath before cramming everything in with one breath. "This is Karin Kurosaki, Ichigo Kurosaki's little sister she died along with Hinamore in the the world of the living so I'm afraid Hinamori fukutaicho won't be returning and they were killed by an arrancar that was supposedly after me."  
"They are after you?"  
"That's what Hitsugaya said, well, yelled." I shrugged.  
"That wasn't exactly it." Karin spoke up. "May I?" She looked at the sotaicho, who nodded.  
"Tell us what you know, Kurosaki Karin."  
"Right." She nodded, looking at me. "Toshiro was angry at you. He didn't mean what he said to you. About Kuchiki-taicho. I'm sure he didn't." I looked away from her, and Byakuya, who was watching me.  
"What did he say?" Byakuya asked, looking from me to Karin. She hesitated, not sure whether to answer him or not.  
"He said everyone close to me dies." I said coldly. "It's true isn't it?"  
"And about Kuchiki?" Unohana asked.  
I didn't answer.  
"Carry on, Kurosaki." I smirked inwardly, though we did not get on, Yamamoto knew when to change a subject.  
"Toshiro, he didn't get all the facts right. He was late there as well, Sakurai-san. They didn't want your death, they wanted your attention." She explained, I looked up at her. "The arrancar wanted to get your attention. They originally didn't plan to kill me or Hinamori-san. They planned to kill Toshiro." I stiffened.  
"Why would they do that? Any of you would get her attention."  
"But only certain people would keep it." I muttered. Karin looked at me and nodded.  
"Out of the people in the world of the living, Toshiro was closest to her. The arrancar was having a rant, after killing Hinamori. It said it would have been more fun to fight a taicho. He said it would have been even more fun to watch Sakurai suffer from the loss of some one else she cared about. Then…"  
"Then what?" Kenpachi snapped.  
"He told me to give you a message." She looked at me and I leant against the back wall, eyes on her.  
"What is it?"  
"He said, you'll lose Hitsugaya. One by one, you'll lose everything. The next time, it will be the one who matters most." Karin looked at me. "I think I know who they mean."  
"Yeah…" I nodded. I sighed, looking at Byakuya briefly. "So do I."  
"What happened to your hand?" Unohana asked me.  
"Oh, that?" I looked down art my hand, blood-stained and splintered. "I had a disagreement with a doorframe."  
She just laughed lightly.  
"Mitsugayani, what did you intend to gain by bringing the girl here?" Yamamoto asked.  
"Oh! That's right." I smirked, grabbing Karin's hand. "She was a soul reaper, a lot like her brother. Obviously via my d-Kisuke." _Shit._ "She already achieved Shikai."  
"Sakurai. She does not have a zanpakuto."  
"I know where it is, it's fine."  
"You do? Where is it?" Karin looked at me in surprise.  
"Nami said it was in the tenth division office." I told her.  
"Why is it there?" She asked, puzzled. "Shouldn't I have it?"  
"Not nessisarily." I shrugged. "Yamamoto, is it okay for me to request her to be placed in a squad. She has had training under both Urahara and Shihoen."  
"She would need to be trained. Does she already know Kido? All of the elements of the shinigami?"  
"I am okay at Shunpo, and Yoruichi-san had only just started teaching me Hakudo. I can do quite a lot of kido though." Karin explained.  
"I see. So you still do need training. I take it since you can use kido, your brother would not be able to do so."  
"I'll do it." I suggested with a shrug. "I mean, I know her, we're friends. Not to mention the fact that all I ever seem to do is sit on my chair in my office throwing daggers at the picture of Aizen on my wall."  
Karin stifled a laugh.  
"I see." Yamamoto looked at me. "I shall think on that. Until then Karin, you shall follow Sakurai at all times. At least until the team return from the world of the living, I wish to see your skills then. Sakurai, the new taicho have been determined." He sent me a knowing look.  
"Sure. I'll contact Yoruichi." I nodded. "Karin let's go." I spun around motioning for her to follow with a wave of my hand. She bowed to the sotaicho before running after me.  
"Where are we going?"  
"Juubantai office." I stated, beginning to close the door to the meeting room.  
"Sakurai." Unohana's voice stopped me. "I need to speak with you, meet me later on in my office, if you don't mind."  
"Of course, Unohana-taicho." I nodded before closing the doors. I think I knew what she wanted.  
It was to do with what I said, or nearly said, earlier. No one else had picked up on it. She did.  
The fact I nearly called Kisuke my father.

**Review please! x**


	8. I made a promise

**Byakuya's POV. Kind of ByakuyaxSakurai in this chapter. You get to "meet" Sakurai's foster mother.**

It had been three days since Sakurai had returned from the world of the living. I hadn't seen her since the taicho meeting she burst into. I'd had information delivered by her third and fourth seats. Today Akohoshi-fukutaicho was in my office, she had returned yesterday. She had just dropped off some paperwork.  
"Akahoshi-fukutaicho." I called to her as she was about to leave my office. She looked over her shoulder at me, her red ponytail flicked over her shoulder.  
"Hai, Kuchiki-taicho?"  
"Where is Sakurai? Is she training the Kurosaki girl?"  
"Not right now taicho, no. Karin-chan is with Soifon-taicho. Sakurai has not trained her much at all really. She hasn't been well. So Soifon volunteered to train her until my taicho was recovered." The red-head explained.  
"I see." I nodded in understanding. "Where is she now?"  
"Her family manor, taicho." She told me. I nodded to her and she left my office. I looked at the small pile of paperwork on my desk. It could wait. I needed to know what was wrong with her.  
I stood up from my desk and in a second I was gone and the office was empty.

It took only moments to reach the gates to the large ground of the manor the Mitsugayani family owned.  
"Kuchiki-san." A young man greeted him from the other side of the gates, opening them for him. "Here to see Sakurai-sama I presume." I nodded. "She is around her quarters I believe. Last I heard from the other staff: She was by the pool."  
"Thank you." I nodded once before making my way to Sakurai's quarters. The grounds were vast. And it just so happened that Sakurai's quarters was on the opposite side of the grounds. She had a swimming pool outside her quarters, surrounded my Sakura trees.  
I reached her quarters and walked round to the place the pool was located, round the back. It was a large pool. She spent a lot of time in it when she was home. No wonder she was such a good swimmer.  
I was shocked by the first thing my eyes registered. There was a towel on a glass table beside a lounger which had her clothes on. The towel had blood on it. I inspected the other items on the glass table to see a glass of water along with some pills.  
_Why didn't she mention this?_  
"Byakuya?" He was awoken from his thoughts by his best friend's voice. He turned to see her at the other end of the pool. Her hair was soaking wet, her fringe stuck to her face, her long light brown hair was clinging to her exposed skin.  
"Hi." I nodded to her.  
"What are you doing here?" I just looked at her. I heard her sigh before she began to swim over. Wow. She really can swim fast.  
She was in front of me in a minute or two.  
"Morning." I squatted down at the side of the pool. She smiled, leaning her bare arms on the side of the pool.  
"Morning." I took in that smile, it was one of the few she meant, and those were getting less frequent again. "So? Why are you here?"  
"I hadn't seen you since burst into the taicho meeting three days ago. I asked your fukutaicho and she told me you were ill. I was concerned."  
"Don't be Byakuya, I'm fine."  
"Obviously, that is why there are pills and a towel covered with blood over there." I motioned toward the lounger and she scowled.  
"Alright." She pulled herself out of the pool, spinning around so she sat on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water. As much as I tried, as many times as I repeated that she was my best friend: I couldn't take my eyes off her.  
She had water running down her back from her hair. She was wearing a blue bikini, looking a little like something only Matsumoto would wear. But they are best friends, so who knows. I literally had to turn away from her.  
"I lied. But you know I'm ill. There is honestly nothing to worry about." She looked over at me and smiled. "Don't you have paperwork to do anyway?" She asked.  
"I have some left." I admitted.  
"Then stop worrying about me and get your work done." She stood up and nudged me playfully. I didn't move. So she took it upon herself to pull me to my feet. "I'm fine. Now go."  
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I asked her, meeting her eyes as I daren't look anywhere else.  
"No actually." She walked away from me, pulling on a dressing gown of sorts and lying on the lounger, staring at the sky.  
"Are you-"  
"You know, I used to hate soul reapers." That startled me. Was that some kind of joke? It didn't appear to be. Her face was totally blank, like she was in the past.  
"What are you talking about?" I asked cautiously.  
"When I was really young, before my real mother died, I thought shinigami were amazing, I looked up to them, but that was because my father was a shinigami." I froze, she'd never, in all the time we'd known each other, brought up the subject of her father, let alone told me he was a shinigami. "But my father stopped visiting us one day, I remember. I sat in front of the house for three days straight, not eating or sleeping, just waiting for my dad to appear out of nowhere, pick me up and spin me around like he usually did. But he never came. I ended up fainting from hunger and tiredness, I didn't wake up for a week. My father still never came." I watched her carefully as I knelt beside the lounger, she still didn't take her eyes off the sky. "About two or three months after he stopped visiting, soul reapers showed up at the house. I was outside playing with my little brother. They just walked past at first. I watched them, I didn't realise I was scowling at them at first. But after they noticed me there, staring at them, they walked over and asked me my name. I got a little scared, but I told them. Then they smiled and walked in the door behind me. I ran inside after them, with my brother crawling in after me. I heard my mother shout to me to go and play with my little brother. I did as she said and lifted him into my arms again. The soul reapers smiled at me again as mother told me to go outside. I did as she said again, but I remained in the doorway, out of sight. But then I watched them. They had smiled at me, treated me like everything was fine. Then they killed her. That's all I saw. My eyes never shone like they used to again..." I could see the fear, the pain and sadness of the memory taking the form of tears that threatened to fall from her blue eyes. She suddenly looked terrified, and I hated it.  
"Saka-chan…"  
"Until I met you." She said abruptly. I froze. She faked a smile as she finally looked at me. "Thank you." She took my hand and I wrapped my fingers around hers tightly. "You have no idea how much it meant to have you there." She sat up and spun to face me. "You've always been there." With that she hugged me, she hadn't done that in a long time. She was afraid. She was upset. What was going on?  
"Sakurai." I whispered her name, holding her close to me.  
"I don't want to lose you Byakuya." She whimpered. I froze. My mind drifted back to what Kurosaki's sister said yesterday.  
_"They told me to give you a message: __He said, you'll lose Hitsugaya. One by one, you'll lose everything. The next time, it will be the one who matters most."  
_I pulled her off the lounger and onto my lap, her body was covered by the dressing gown, so it wasn't like her was getting and water on him. Even if her hair was still soaking wet as she rested her head on his chest.  
"Saka-chan, I'm not going anywhere. I'm always here." I soothed. "I'll always be here. When you need me. I'm right here."  
"My-My dad, he…he told me why he left." I froze. She pulled back and breathed deeply. She sat back and the lounger and her face turned serious. Or as close she could get. "I need to tell you something."  
"About your father? You found him?"  
"In a sense. He'd kind of been there all along, looking out for me as best he could, considering the circumstances, apparently."  
"Circumstances?"  
"Yeah, he's kind of, well he was exiled." She explained looking away. She knew how highly I held the law. But how could she not know I'd disregard it when it came to her or my sister. "It wasn't his fault though, it was Aizen's. He framed him for experi-"  
"Urahara." I cut her off. She was fully serious, I could see it in her eyes. "Urahara Kisuke is your father."She nodded.  
I had always wondered how a parent could leave behind their child by choice. But now he knew who her father was, he understood. His grandfather had told him the story. Urahara Kisuke had had a daughter and son in Rukongai, but their mother was to be killed due to her loss of sanity and large reitsu. He children were supposed to be killed also. But Urahara had begged and begged. They were allowed to live but their mother was not. Urahara was forbidden to see them, to find them. His two children, now just orphans wandering Rukongai. Urahara had had no choice.  
"I see."  
"You're not angry?" She sounded surprised.  
"Why would I be?" I shrugged. "You are still Sakurai, still my best friend. Despite your lineage."  
"Thank you." She flung her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. "You have no idea how much that means to me."  
"I-"  
"Mitsugayani Taicho." A young shinigami appeared some way behind us. A boy with platinum blonde hair with a few strands over his green eyes. He was considerably tall and his muscles were very well developed.  
"Shivo." Sakurai stood up, looking over to him.  
"Forgive the intrustion, Kuchiki-sama." He nodded to me, I returned the nod. "Mitsugayani-taicho, sotaicho Yamamoto wishes to speak to you."  
"I see, I'll be there shortly. You can wait around here if you want Byakuya, I'm sure I'll be back soon." I nodded to her as she spoke. She flash-stepped away. I never reminded her about her clothes, knowing her she would have turned up in worse.  
"See you later, Kuchiki-taicho." The boy nodded to me before running after his taicho. He was a good kid. He wasn't very old. About forty at the most. But he looked the same age as Sakurai. Which was about sixteen.  
He was very strict about formalities, hence why he called Sakurai 'Mitsugayani taicho' rather than by her name like she told everyone to do. He was fiercely loyal to his taicho. He was her third seat, and incredibly strong. Nearly as much of a prodigy as Hitsugaya. Shivo graduated the academy in a year also, but he only just passed.  
I decided to wait inside for her. I walked into a sort of living room as I entered her quarters, there were pictures everywhere, photographs and paintings. I could help but smile at the piano at the side of the room. She used to play that all the time. She could sing as well, she had an amazing voice. It made me smile to know it was only myself and Matsumoto that had ever heard her sing.  
She loved music. It calmed her down when she was angry. But the piano was dusty, she hadn't been on it in a long time by the looks of things.  
I'd been in this room many times. But as I looked away from the piano, I noticed it's appearance fully. There were books and papers scattered about everywhere, on the floor, on the tables. It was odd how messy everything was. The bookshelves were bare, unlike her room in the juuyonbantai barracks. Those books, plus plenty more were resting on chairs and tables, others on the ground, some open, some closed.  
I walked over to the sofa, to look at the book on the large table, it was only small, it looked like a journal. There was a lot of things poking out of it. I opened it to a random page as I sat down. A photograph fell out onto my lap. I recognised the scene instantly, but I was unaware the picture had been taken. It was me dancing with Sakurai, a very long time ago. It was a ball my grandfather organised for my birthday. He invited many teenagers from noble families, but I hadn't held out much hope for it being any good. Sakurai was away on a mission, I thought she would not have had an invite due to her only having been able to receive it at the last minute or not at all. I smiled at the thought of her showing up, but I managed to ignore and suppress the memory that during that time I liked Sakurai, well, as more than a friend.

_I was sat at the side of the dancefloor, it was outdoor and everyone was laughing and smiling with their friends. Except me. I was sat at the side on a concrete bench, with my usual bored expression, thinking about my best friend.  
"You know you shouldn't look so bored." A familiar voice that I could never fail to recognise, from behind me made me jump out of my skin. "Your grandfather went to a lot of trouble organising this. The least you could do was make an effort."  
"Well, I-" I stood up and turned to face my best friend, but was struck dumb by what I saw. Sakurai was stood there with her hands on her hips, her long brown hair was in loose curls resting on her shoulders, with the left side pinned back with a sakura flower. Her dress was light blue with and embroided pattern down one side that was shaped like a dragon. She looked amazing.  
"Well? You what?" She asked me, raising her eyebrow.  
"I, uh..I didn't know you were coming."  
"Neither did I. But I got this dress off of your grandfather and he told me I could repay him for it by wearing it tonight, here."  
"So you were blackmailed by my grandfather?"  
"At least he invited me." She scoffed walking round and sitting on the bench beside me as I too sat down.  
"Well, I'm glad you're here. You weren't around, I didn't know if you'd get the invite."  
"Of course." She smirked at me. I rolled my eyes.  
"You're not seriously thinking I didn't want you here?" I asked her, she jumped, looking at me properly. "You're my best friend, you're pretty much the only person that could keep me sane at one of these things." She fell silent and looked away, I was sure I saw her blush.  
"Why aren't you dancing? I'm sure you've been asked." She said after a while. I just shrugged.  
"I have been asked. But none of the offers were appealing. Besides, I don't like dancing."  
"Ah, right." She nodded. She watched the people dancing but I knew she was listening to the music. Then a piano began to play another song and her eyes lit up at the sound. She looked completely mesmerised.  
I stood up and her eyes moved to me. I offered her my hand and she looked at me blankly.  
"What?"  
"Do you want to dance?" I asked her, looking away.  
"I thought you didn't like dancing?"  
"I don't. But I'm sure I can survive if it's you I'm dancing with." I still wouldn't look at her. I tensed when I felt her hand take mine and she stood up.  
"Well then, with that answer how can I say no?" She smiled. I looked at her finally and smiled back. Before we joined everyone else on the dancefloor. The music was slow, calm and I could feel my cheeks heating up as Sakurai rested her head on my shoulder. I quickly surpressed the blush.  
_That was the time the picture was taken._  
"Thank you." She whispered. "Nice to know I'm worth the effort of you dancing." She smiled slightly.  
"Not a problem." I told her softly, causing her to laugh.  
"And I hope never to be." She lifted her head up just as the song ended. I was going to ask her if she wanted to keep dancing but my grandfather walked over to the two of us.  
"Grandfather." I bowed to him, smiling, one hand still held Sakurai's as we moved apart. She bowed her head to him.  
"Kuchiki-san."  
"Sakurai, I'm afraid there is grave news of your mother child. She is on her deathbed." Sakurai froze, I could see pain flash in her eyes as I looked at her and I squeezed her hand lightly. "She wishes to see you." My grandfather's eyes turned to me. "Both of you." That startled me.  
"Of course." Sakurai nodded. "Byakuya?" She looked at me.  
"Right, let's go." I tugged on her hand and we both ran off to the yonbantai barracks._

"_Mum?" Sakurai and I walked into the room her foster mother was in. Hanorishi was in there already.  
"Sakurai, Byakuya." The juuyonbantai taicho stood up and nodded to us. "I'll leave you to it." With that he walked past us and left the room.  
"Saka-chan." Tori Mitsugayani lay in the bed, she lifted her hand and motioned for us to go over. "You looked beautiful." I watched Sakurai take the woman's hand. "The occasion may I ask? You wouldn't wear a dress for nothing." The woman's short red hair was spread out on the pillow she was leant against as she smiled at her foster daughter.  
"It was for a ball." Sakurai concluded bluntly.  
"Something to do with Byakuya I assume." Tori smiled slightly before looking over to me. "Thank you for keeping my daughter in order, young man."  
"My pleasure, Tori-sama." I nodded, still having a grip on Sakurai's hand.  
"You don't look too bad yourself Byakuya." She smiled at me, her voice was weak, empty. "You were definitely worth Sakurai going to this much effort." I looked at Sakurai and she was facing the other way, refusing to look at me. "Sakurai, you're a good girl. You just need to be a little braver."  
"Braver? She's always putting her life on the line as it is." I objected.  
"I mean with her feelings, not her actions." She coughed. Her voice getting weaker. "Promise me Sakurai, promise me you'll be strong. Promise you'll be you, the strong, kind, loyal girl I know you are."  
"Mum…I promise." Sakurai whispered. I could tell she was trying not to cry.  
"Good girl." She smiled, coughing again. "Byakuya, do me a favour."  
"What is it, Tori-sama?"  
"Take care of her. My little girl. Keep her out of trouble. You've done an amazing job so far."  
"I don't need babysitting, mum."  
"I'm not asking him to babysit you. I'm asking him to be there for you. To take care of you. I'm asking you Byakuya, to be her friend. She doesn't have many." The woman joked. I always liked Tori, she was always so happy and cheerful.  
"Of course. I plan to." I assured her.  
"Good." Her head rested against the pillow as her eyes began to close. "Look after yourself, Sakurai." Her hand fell limp in Sakurai's and I felt my best friend freeze.  
"Mum? Mum?" Sakurai was trying so hard not to cry but after a moment or two of silence she turned around and hugged me. Tears were streaming down her face,I held her close to me. I hated this. I hated to see her cry._

_I haven't seen her cry since that day._

"It's odd how an atmosphere can change." I whispered.  
"Having fun nosing around?" I spun around to see Sakurai leant in the doorway.  
"Saka-chan. The photograph…"  
"My Hanorishi's. My foster father's. I found it in his room after he died." She told me simply, walking over and picking up the journal.  
"I see." I nodded, not pressing the subject. "What did Sotaicho want?"  
"We're going on a mission." She smiled at me, dropping down beside me on the sofa, resting her head on my shoulder.  
"We? Where?"  
"Me and you, we're going to the world of the living." She answered.  
"When?"  
"When we are ready to leave." She sat up. "You want to get going right?"  
"I'm okay." I told her, pulling her back to rest on my shoulder again. "I'm okay here for a little while. I remembered an old promise."  
"Promise?"  
"Yes. That I made to Tori-sama." She stiffened, looking up at me. "I promised I'd take care of you. So now, it's not just Kisuke. Talk. It's about time you told me the truth."  
"About what?" She sat up, looking at me sadly.  
"Everything, Sakurai."

**Read and Review please!**


	9. Filler: Sakurai & Hisana

**I haven't updated in a while, so here's a filler XD It's of different points in time between Sakurai and Hisana :) Enjoy and review pleasies!**

* * *

Sakurai walked over to the Kuchiki manor, checking her watch. Why had Byakuya called her here? It was nine in the morning.  
"Good morning Sakurai-chan." One of the female servants greeted her.  
"Good morning Aki-chan." Sakurai nodded to her. "Uh, I'm looking for Byakuya-kun, do you know where I can find him?"  
"Kuchiki-sama is in the garden with Hisana-san. He told me to send you there if I see you." She smiled at her kindly.  
"Alright. Thank you Aki." Sakurai nodded to her and turned to walk toward the garden. She waved over her shoulder at Aki when her voice stopped her.  
"Captain Sakurai!" She called, Sakurai turned around. "Your necklace." She picked up the silver chain with the sapphire jewel on it. "This is very beautiful. Where did you get it? The dragon looks very exact."  
"It was a birthday present." Sakurai shrugged, taking the necklace and fastening it round her neck.  
"Who from?" Sakurai raised an eyebrow at her and she giggled lightly. "Oh, of course. Kuchiki-sama, right?"  
"Yes." Sakurai nodded. "See you later." She told her before walking over to the gardens again.  
"Good morning Mitsugayani-chan." Several servants greeted her. She just smiled. She sighed as she finally reached the garden.  
"Good morning Captain Mitsuagayani." One soul reaper greeted her, Ginjirō Shirogane, the lieutenant of the Sixth division.  
"Hey." She nodded to him. "Must be one of the few times you haven't called me 'kid' or 'midget'." The man laughed.  
"My apologies, would you rather I called you that?"  
"No thanks. I'll think I'll survive." She laughed. "I shall see you later, lieutenant Shirogane."  
"Yup, later squirt." He patted her on the head and walked off.  
"Stop calling me that!" Sakurai snapped after him, she just heard him chuckle.  
"As loud as ever I see, Sakurai." The girl heard a voice behind her and spun around.  
"Kuchiki." She folded my arms at him. "Morning."  
"Good morning." He nodded, and unfolded her arms, grabbing her hand in the process. "Come with me." He dragged her with him to the sakura trees where someone was sat on the bench. A woman with short black hair with a large strand in her face looked up and leapt to her feet. She looked so innocent. Sakurai was sure she'd seen her before.  
"Y-You are Mitsugayani-san?" Sakurai nodded to her with a smile, Byakuya letting go of her hand and walking to the woman's side. "I'm-"  
"Hisana." Sakurai finished, smiling at her. "Oh, and it's Sakurai."  
"Oh, um, okay. Sakurai-san."  
"If you don't mind me asking, where in Rukongai are you from?"  
"Inuzuri. District-"  
"Seventy-nine." She finished.  
"You really need to stop doing that, Saka-chan. You'll scare her." He paused. "Wait, how did you know…?"  
"It's where I'm from." Sakurai shrugged.  
"Where you're from? But you're name?"  
"Byakuya never told you? I was adopted into a noble family. It's illegal, but apparently I was worth it." She laughed slightly. Byakuya froze, he'd realised the cheerfulness was an act.  
"You okay?" He mouthed. She just smiled in return.  
"Byakuya has told me a lot about you, Hisana-chan. Yet, we have never met until today. Anyone would think you were nervous about us meeting, Kuya-chan." His best friend teased him. He glared at her in return.  
"I doubt he's told you more about me than he's told me about you, Sakurai-san." Hisana smiled.  
"I have a feeling I am going to get along with you, Hisana."  
"I-"  
"Captain Mitsugayani!" A voice rung out and Matsumoto ran over to them. "Gomenesai, Captain Kuchiki. Rai-chan, my Captain needs to speak with you." Sakurai looked at her sceptically. "It's about your father."  
"What?" Sakurai froze, as did Byakuya. Then she spun to face Byakuya. "I need to go. It was nice to meet you, Hisana-chan." Sakurai smiled at Hisana, who returned it gratefully. She stepped forward and hugged Byakuya and whispered to him. "You didn't tell her, did you?"  
Byakuya hugged her back.  
"No." She pulled back and nodded to him.  
"I'll see you later." With that she disappeared, closely followed by Lietuenant Matsumoto.  
Hisana sighed. Byakuya turned to face her.  
"What is it?"  
"She's nice." Byakuya nodded. "Not to mention beautiful." He froze at that.  
"I've never noticed."  
"How can you not notice?" She chuckled. "People that beautiful do not go unnoticed."  
"What gave you the idea she goes unnoticed?" He asked her bluntly.  
"Is she really that bad?"  
"She's not bad. She just knows what she wants. It's more the 'how she gets it' that I find unamusing."  
"Meaning?"  
"Long story." He shrugged.  
"Byakuya, is there something the matter with her father? It's just, you and her, the look on your faces when that lieutenant said her Captain needed to talk to Sakurai about her father. You looked, well I'm not sure, just slightly panicked."  
"Sakurai's father is dead." He looked away. "He died ten years ago on june 30th."  
"That's tomorrow." Hisana sucked in a breath.  
"Yes. I've never been able to find out where she goes on that day, she just disappears."  
"Oh." She sighed again, looking at where the two had dissapearred. "Anyway, she seems, just lovely…"

* * *

Hisana watched from the side of the squad six training field. Her eyes widened at the sight of her fiancé being thrown around by his best friend. The clashing of swords rang out as the two swung at one another.  
"Give it up, _Kuya-chan_. You won't win." Sakurai smirked at him.  
"You should know I won't do that." He ignored the way she baited him and proceeded to push her back. She flipped and landed on her feet a metre or two away from him.  
"Hmph." She sheathed her sword before vanishing.  
"Hakudo…" Byakuya whispered. He sheathed his own sword as he blocked a punch from her. "Must you always resort to not using your sword?"  
"I was in the stealth force, hand-to-hand is what I do." She giggled, vanishing again. Byakuya's eyes widened as she appeared behind him. She faked a punch to his head, which he blocked, only for her to kick him in the back of his knees. Then, as he begun to fall, she placed a hand on the ground, and spun herself to kick him in the chest. Byakuya held up his arms to block it, only for the force behind the kick to send him flying into the air. Sakurai giggled before vanishing once again, she appeared above him and kicked him down to the ground.  
"Urgh." Byakuya cringed as he collided with the ground, shutting his eyes. He felt something on his chest, and something cold on his neck. He opened his eyes to see a smirking Sakurai above him, straddling his chest and he sword against his throat.  
"Cave?" She asked playfully, tilting her head.  
"Cave." He replied blankly. She laughed and stood up, once again sheathing her zanpakutō.  
"I win. As usual." She announced to the watching crowd as Byakuya stood up.  
"Don't get cocky, Sakurai." He reminded her, brushing himself off.  
"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes, spinning round to look at him. She poked him in the chest. "_You_ are just a sore loser, old friend." He grabbed her hand.  
"Whatever you say, kid." He was answered with a hit over the head.  
"We're practically the same age!" She snapped. He just smirked at her. After a moment she smiled at him. "You're an idiot."  
"As are you." He backfired. Hisana's eyes widened and she stood up just as Byakuya's lieutenant went running over to the two captains.  
"Nice, squirt. You completely owned the captain!" He laughed, Byakuya scowled, but his scowl fell when Sakurai laughed.  
"As usual, old man." She stuck her tongue out at him.  
"I'm not old!" He snapped.  
"And I'm not a midget!" She retorted, hitting him on the arm. Byakuya shook his head and stepped between them.  
"That's enough, you two." He stopped them before it got out of hand. He looked up to see Hisana walking away. "Hisana?" He took a step to follow her when she didn't look back, but stopped when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned his head to see Sakurai.  
"Stay here." She ordered him. "I'll go after her." Her voice was soft, assuring. He nodded and she vanished.

"Hisana?" Sakurai entered the grounds of the Kuchiki house easily. She walked toward the garden and immediately spotted the black-haired woman sat by the pond.  
"Hm?" Hisana looked over her shoulder, and her eyes widened at the sight of the young noble. "S-Sakurai-san."  
"Hey there." The blonde smiled, waving. She walked over to her. "This seat taken?" She motioned to the bench beside Hisana, who shook her head. Sakurai sat down beside her. "So? What's the matter? You got us worried, wandering off like that."  
"Why me?" She asked suddenly. Sakurai's expression turned confused.  
"What do you mean?" The captain questioned. "Has something happened?"  
"Why does he want me?" Hisana repeated, Sakurai froze. "Why does Byakuya want me? Why me? When he could have had you?"  
"I don't think I follow…?"  
"Byakuya. I've seen the way the two of you act around one another. I've seen the way you look at him." Blue eyes widened. "He loves you."  
"As a friend, Hisana." Sakurai interrupted, silencing her. "The same way I feel about him. We've been together for nearly as long as we can remember. We're best friends. That's all."  
"But why? You are one of the most, beautiful, powerful women in the soul society. Why aren't the two of you together? Why did he fall in love with me?"  
"Because you're you." Hisana's eyes widened. "Because you're not me. Because you're somebody who can give him a challenge that doesn't involve verbally or physically abusing him." She laughed, rubbing the back of her head. "In all honesty. Why not fall for you?"  
"But, I-"  
"Hisana, listen to me." She moved around in front of her, kneeling down and taking her hands. "You're kind, you're beautiful, you're smart. You're a hell of a lot more of a person than most women round here."  
"But you, you're smart. You're beautiful. In all aspects of the word, you're perfect."  
"I'm far from it." Sakurai sighed. "I have a foul temper that sometimes I can't control. I'm stubborn, I make rash decisions. I may be smart, but sometimes I follow my heart too easily and get myself into trouble. I sleep with men to make myself feel better. And I'm not as beautiful as you might think." She lifted her hand up to her face and brushed her fringe out of the way. Hisana's eyes widened considerably. "There are things people don't know me that make me far from perfect." She let her fringe fall back into place. "We all hide things that we are scared of people finding out about. None of us are perfect. Especially not me." She took the dark-haired womans hands again. "Especially not Byakuya. Hisana, you need to stop looking down on yourself."  
"Why do you act like you care so much about me?"  
"Because I do." She shrugged.  
"Why?"  
"Because Byakuya does. You're important to him. So you're important to me." She smiled. "That, and you've grown on me. Trust me, he breaks your heart I'll pound him into dust."  
"T-Thank you, Sakurai-san." Hisana was crying now, but smiling none the less.  
"Cut out the honorific. You're my friend, you don't need it. You can call me Rai-chan, just like Rangiku, Gin and Shunsui."  
"O-Okay, Rai-chan." Hisana leant forward and hugged the startled captain. "Thank you, so much."  
"Not a problem…" Sakurai smiled, hugging her back. "What are friends for?"

"See you later, Hisana." Sakurai began to walk out of the Kuchiki grounds when she passed by Byakuya. "So? How much did you hear?" She asked him, stopping in front of him.  
Byakuya stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, once again shocking the girl.  
"Thank you, Saka-chan." Sakurai laughed, hugging him back briefly before letting go and stepping back.  
"That much, huh?" She smirked. "People need to stop hugging me today. Even your bloody lieutenant put his arm around me this morning."  
"Sakurai… I…"  
"I know." She began to walk away, holding up a hand in goodbye. "No need to say it. See you later, Kuchiki." With that she vanished. Leaving him standing there, staring at where she vanished.  
"Thank you, so much…" He whispered, as a smile eventually crossed his usually emotionless face.

* * *

"Say, Sakurai?" Hisana's voice caught the woman's attention. Sakurai looked over her shoulder from watching the sky.  
"Hm?" Her blue eyes, soft as ever, met Hisana's dark ones.  
"Could you promise me something?" The dark-haired woman coughed, leading to the blonde to turn to her.  
"Sure, what is it?" Her hand rested on her shoulder, concern in her eyes.  
"I never have found my sister yet, help me look? And if I… If I die, will you help Byakuya look?" She asked. The captain's eyes widened.  
"Hisana…"  
"Oh, and look after him." Hisana told her. "No matter what. I know he's not very friendly toward most people, you know that better than me. But please, Sakurai, I know you'll do it anyway. But protect him, take care of him. Just like you always have done."  
Sakurai looked saddened at her friend's speech. Her eyes cast away toward the bare trees briefly before looking back at the woman beside her.  
"Always, Hisana. I promise."


End file.
